The Harvard Gazette: ‘Your real education starts now,’ comedy legend tells grads, urging them to defy ‘extreme narcissism’ of the times

O’Brien’s word of wisdom: Humility 

Commencement Speaker Conan O’Brien ‘85
Conan O’Brien.Photo by Grace DuVal

Christina Pazzanese

Harvard Staff Writer

May 28, 2026 4 min read

‘Your real education starts now,’ comedy legend tells grads, urging them to defy ‘extreme narcissism’ of the times

Part of theCommencement 2026 series

A collection of features and graduate profiles covering Harvard’s 375th Commencement.

Conan O’Brien brought his absurdist humor to bear Thursday as the principal speaker at Harvard’s 375th Commencement, poking fun at the University’s history and culture while also urging the Class of 2026 to set their sights beyond their academic achievements.

His wish for them, he said, was that one day, their status as Harvard grads might be “the least important thing people know about you.”

“I really understand how much hard work it took for all of you to get to this point,” O’Brien, a 1985 graduate of Harvard College, told the crowd at Tercentenary Theatre. “You should feel enormous pride, just as I did on my Commencement day.”

But a Harvard degree can be double-edged, he added.

“Many people are happy to mistake the lucky poker hand for their own brilliance, and fighting that human instinct has kept me sane.”

“Your real education starts now, with friends you’ve made and friends you get to meet, with stunning successes and miserable defeats, and with a humble acceptance that your greatness comes from the mess around you, not despite it,” O’Brien said.

He was quick to note that he was speaking from deep experience, crediting his own successes to help he’s received from “an infinitely packed clown car of multitudes” — and to luck. In that spirit, he urged his audience to resist the “extreme narcissism” of the times, with pointed reference to U.S. leaders and smartphone-fueled self-absorption.

“Many people are happy to mistake the lucky poker hand for their own brilliance, and fighting that human instinct has kept me sane,” he said. “I honestly believe that community, spontaneity, and a real commitment to humility have helped me build a rich life.”

The comedy legend’s remarks included riffs on recent University news. Thanking President Alan Garber for his stewardship of the graduating class, he said: “Fantastic job, sir. Really nice. Normally, I would give you an A+, but in keeping with upcoming Harvard policy, I’m adjusting your grade to a C-. Trust me, it’s for the good of the school.”

O’Brien touched on the federal government’s ongoing legal battles with the University, joking that he too was suing Harvard for indignities he endured at the College, like the cast-iron bunk bed he slept on as a first-year (“an instrument of divine cruelty”) and his underwhelming dating life.

“I’m confident that my claims will have more merit than those filed by the president of the United States,” he said to cheers.https://www.youtube.com/embed/F3fCktnkBbc?version=3&rel=1&showsearch=0&showinfo=1&iv_load_policy=1&fs=1&hl=en-US&autohide=2&wmode=transparent&enablejsapi=1&origin=https%3A%2F%2Fnews.harvard.edu

In his opening address, Garber struck a more solemn note about the political, legal, and academic challenges facing Harvard.

Recalling the University’s long history as a leading light for intellectual inquiry and the pursuit of knowledge and wisdom, he said, “Our cause is just. Our principles are worthy. And our contributions to the common good are vital. This moment demands of us ongoing vigilance and unyielding effort as we continue to defend the University and its ideals.”

He praised students’ embrace of opportunities “to disagree constructively, listen generously, and speak freely” and their finding ways to bring people together in order “to nurture pluralism, mutual respect, and empathy.”

A Brookline native, O’Brien was twice elected president of the Harvard Lampoon. He made his name as an Emmy Award-winning comedy writer for  “The Simpsons ” and “Saturday Night Live” in the late 1980s before starring in NBC’s “Late Night With Conan O’Brien,” which ran from 1993 to 2009.

In 2010, he launched a new show, “Conan,” that ran until 2023 on TNT network. He now hosts a popular podcast, “Conan O’Brien Needs a Friend.” Last year, O’Brien received the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor.

The University conferred O’Brien with a doctor of arts degree, which he accepted on behalf of his late grandfather, a Worcester traffic officer who left school to help support his family in seventh grade. Other honorary degree recipients were Audra McDonald, a Tony Award-winning Broadway actor and singer; conservative political columnist and former Reagan speechwriter Peggy Noonan; AI innovator Geoffrey Hinton; and historian Noel Malcolm.

Closing his speech, O’Brien offered students congratulations, “not for any piece of paper you received today, but because of your hard work, determination, humanity, and the boundless community that you have and will create.”

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The Conversation: Warning: this article contains distressing quotes from perpetrators of child sexual abuse.

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Warning: this article contains distressing quotes from perpetrators of child sexual abuse.

Researchers have long tried to answer the question: why do some men sexually abuse children?

We recently set out to find an answer.

In the largest study of child sexual abuse perpetrators’ accounts ever conducted, we systematically analysed nearly 700 adult male perpetrators’ accounts from 39 studies to document the ways these men account for their actions.

Some startling revelations

The men were aged 18 years and over and came from across the globe – from Norway to New Zealand, Malawi to Brazil. We were interested in documenting what perpetrators’ accounts can tell us about preventing child sexual abuse.

The men’s accounts varied dramatically. Some blamed drugs and alcohol, or their own experiences of childhood maltreatment. Others claimed they were seeking exciting or risky new sexual experiences.

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Others said they were “in love” with or trying to “educate” the child.

The most common way perpetrators explained their behaviour was to cast their victims as consenting participants in the sexual activity.

In especially egregious cases, perpetrators positioned themselves as the hapless casualties of their (mostly female) victims’ devious sexual scheming, describing their young victims as “flirtatious”.

One stated:

she was a little vixen in the whole thing […] I was truly lured in.

Or course, children cannot consent to sexual activity with adults. Importantly, even if the victim had been an adult, the evidence of a child’s “consent” offered by perpetrators was extremely tenuous, usually amounting only to the absence of forceful resistance.

Abuse as revenge

Revenge was another common reason offered to explain the offending. Overwhelmingly, perpetrators nominated their adult women partners as the target of their retaliatory behaviour.

In short, they abused a child to get back at the child’s mother.

Perpetrators sought revenge because their adult women partners failed to adhere to traditional femininity and to fulfil the role of romantic/sexual partner and/or mother/homemaker to the perpetrator’s standard and preferences.

As one perpetrator stated:

There was a few times that I molested [my stepdaughter] out of being mad […] at [my wife for] […] not cleaning the house. Letting the dog shit on the floor and nobody cleaning it up.

In perpetrators’ accounts, adult women partners were expected to provide sexual interaction exclusively to the perpetrator when, where and how the perpetrator desired.

In some instances, perpetrators claimed they were driven to perpetrate child sexual abuse due to their desire for specific sexual acts or forms of bodily presentation that their adult partners declined to enact.

Anger and so-called rights

Perpetrators sometimes framed the child victim as deserving the abuse, claiming their offending resulted from anger toward the child.

For instance, perpetrators felt angry because their victims failed to meet “feminine” norms or did not display sufficient submissiveness. For example, one perpetrator said:

She wasn’t being a nice little girl, that a perfect little girl is supposed to be.

Crucially, men’s reasons for feeling anger toward the child victim(s) echo the same tropes that underpin their anger toward adult women.

Perpetrators commonly invoked their “right” to sexual activity to explain their offending and bemoaned a lack of sexual access to adult partners.

Moreover, perpetrators framed children as sexually compliant and constantly sexually available, again highlighting their sense of entitlement to sex and lack of concern that children can’t consent.

Compared with prior studies, we found a more frequent and pronounced emphasis on patriarchal thinking in perpetrators’ accounts.

Research often suggests men sexually abuse children due to “marital conflict” or “domestic discord”.

However, this interpretation appears sanitised against perpetrators’ own accounts, which often vigorously emphasise their rage and retaliatory reasoning alongside an unwavering sense of male sexual entitlement.

Perpetrators’ focus on child victims’ supposed “consent” is instructive here. In sexual encounters with adult women, men position partners as “gatekeepers” – as responsible for resisting their advances if they do not consent.

While this relates to men’s beliefs about adult women, men in our study commonly viewed women and children as a combined category of subordinates.

Indeed, many of the perpetrators in our study collapsed the distinction between girls and adult women, stating for example:

I felt a need for […] sexual satisfaction and that required a female.

Better education and policy is crucial

Our findings therefore highlight the need for policymakers and practitioners to strengthen efforts to combat misogyny, male sexual entitlement and patriarchal privilege.

Challenging rape myths (false beliefs about sexual violence, those who perpetrate it, and those affected by it) and rape myth acceptance (the acceptance of these false beliefs) remains critical.

While such measures are typically targeted at preventing sexual violence against adult women, our analysis suggests they may also help prevent child sexual abuse.

If this article has raised issues for you, or if you’re concerned about someone you know, call Lifeline on 13 11 14.

The National Sexual Assault, Family and Domestic Violence Counselling Line – 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732) – is available 24 hours a day, seven days a week for any Australian who has experienced, or is at risk of, family and domestic violence and/or sexual assault.

Authors

  1. Kelly RichardsProfessor, School of Justice, Queensland University of Technology
  2. Emma HusseySessional Academic, School of Justice, Queensland University of Technology

Disclosure statement

Kelly Richards is on the national board of the Bravehearts Foundation. She receives funding from the Australian Research Council.

Emma Hussey does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.

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Queensland University of Technology provides funding as a member of The Conversation AU.

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DOI

https://doi.org/10.64628/AA.44sr9esa6

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Daily Mail Voices: This man proves the UK isn’t free…

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The Rundown: MIT found a cleaner way to mine lithium

⛏️ MIT found a cleaner way to mine lithiumImage source: Images 2.0 / The Rundown

The Rundown: Researchers at MIT say they’ve cracked a cleaner way to extract battery-grade lithium from hard rock, with no acid roasting, no toxic sludge, and almost zero waste.

The details:A new ammonium‑fluoride process dissolves the silicate matrix in spodumene, then separates and purifies lithium, aluminum, and silica for industrial use.Lab tests recovered more than 95% of the lithium in rock samples, and the chemical reagent loops back into the process rather than going to waste. Running at low temperatures, it skips the energy-hungry roasting step that makes conventional hard-rock mining so carbon-intensive and expensive. MIT has spun out a startup, Rock Zero, pitching the technique as the cheapest path to lithium from any natural source.

Why it matters: Lithium supply is already struggling to keep pace with EV and grid-storage demand, leaving battery makers exposed to price shocks and China’s grip on refining. If Rock Zero can scale this at cost, it could give Western battery supply chains a cleaner, cheaper foundation to build on.
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Clash Report: Breaking Trump lists his demands (Iran)

BREAKING: Trump lists his demands:

Iran must agree that they will never have a Nuclear Weapon or Bomb. The Hormuz Strait must be immediately open, no tolls, for unrestricted shipping traffic, in both directions. All water mines (bombs), if any, will be terminated (we have removed, through detonation, numerous such mines with our great underwater mine sweepers.

Iran will complete the immediate removal and/or detonation of any mines that are left, which will not be many!). Ships caught in the Strait due to our amazing and unprecedented Naval Blockade, which will now be lifted, may start the process of “heading home!” Say HELLO to your wives, husbands, parents, and families from me, your favorite President!

The enriched material, sometimes referred to as “Nuclear Dust,” which is buried deep underground with virtually collapsed mountains, caused by our powerful B2 Bomber attack 11 months ago, sitting on top of it, will be unearthed by the United States (which, it is agreed, is the only Country, along with China, with the mechanical capability of doing so!), in close coordination and conjunction with the Islamic Republic of Iran, plus the International Atomic Energy Agency, and DESTROYED.

No money will be exchanged, until further notice. Other items, of far less importance, have been agreed to. I will be meeting now, in the Situation Room, to make a final determination. Thank you for your attention to this matter!

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The Ditch: Clare Daly…Are we led and said by EU? What do you think?

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NEW | Foreign Policy magazine argued that the US-Israeli war on Iran was a clear strategic mistake and called on President Donald Trump to acknowledge the failure rather than continue avoiding responsibility. The publication said Washington is still refusing to confront the reality of the war’s consequences, despite months of fighting, mounting regional instability, and growing pressure to reach a negotiated agreement with Tehran.

Quds News Network

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NEW | Foreign Policy magazine argued that the US-Israeli war on Iran was a clear strategic mistake and called on President Donald Trump to acknowledge the failure rather than continue avoiding responsibility. The publication said Washington is still refusing to confront the reality of the war’s consequences, despite months of fighting, mounting regional instability, and growing pressure to reach a negotiated agreement with Tehran.

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Futurism: New Website Detects Apocalypse If Billionaire Jets Start Fleeing en Masse

New Website Detects Apocalypse If Billionaire Jets Start Fleeing en Masse

Always follow the money.

By Joe Wilkins

Published May 27, 2026 5:38 PM EDT

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Illustration of a distant jet plane in the sky, with its contrails clearly visible. Color treated to make the sky appear black with an orange and yellow light halo surrounding the aircraft.
Illustration by Tag Hartman-Simkins / Futurism. Source: Shutterstock

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Billionaires aren’t like us. They get special tax breaks to protect their fortunes, operate private intelligence rings, and increasingly have direct lines to the White House, if they’re not there already.

Given their increasing hold on the levers of political power, in other words, it’s likely that the world’s richest would get advance news of a civilization-threatening event. Kyle McDonald, a programmer and artist from Los Angeles, has developed a new jet tracker with exactly that dynamic in mind. Called the Apocalypse Early Warning System, the vibecoded website is meant to warn of impending doom based on how many private jets are in the air at any one time.

https://daa19cb7fd61d9bbc3129cb4c97302ea.safeframe.googlesyndication.com/safeframe/1-0-45/html/container.html

The mechanics are complicated, but the concept itself is rather simple: is the number of private jets in the air unusual for a given time? If so, it could indicate that the ultra rich have advanced knowledge of a world-ending emergency, and are scrambling for their private compounds while they still can.

Basically, the AEWS is designed to map private aircraft signals from around the world, which it then compares against typical numbers. Based on the difference, it assigns a score between 1 and 5, with 1 being completely normal, and 5 signalling that the level of private jet activity is higher than it’s been over the previous year.

McDonald caveats that the score is not a guarantee of apocalypse, but “should be read alongside other public signals.” A level 5 can be triggered by holidays or major political events, for example, so it’s important to view the data in context.

Still, McDonald told Business Insider, the tool has already mapped some surprising trends. For example, the AEWS’ highest spike so far came on April 6, the day when Iran launched a massive offensive barrage on US and Israeli targets in retaliation for earlier attacks.

“That freaked me out,” McDonald wrote. “I remember thinking, ‘oh my God, it’s real.’”

The programmer-activist has also worked on a few other public-information tools that have helped reveal useful facts hidden under piles of noisy data. One app he worked on with friends, meant to track the Los Angeles Police Department’s infamously aggressive helicopters, helped uncover the fact that the agency was frequently disabling or manipulating their transponder signals to avoid detection by the public.

How useful the information will actually be if disaster strikes is anyone’s guess. In the meantime, it’ll be fascinating to see whether the programmer identifies more trends in the flight data as regional wars and climate disasters continue roiling the globe.

More on billionaires: Marc Andreessen Sputters Incomprehensibly at Question About How AI Will Actually Benefit Humankind

Joe Wilkins

Correspondent

I’m a tech and labor correspondent for Futurism, where my beat includes the role of emerging technologies in governance, surveillance, and labor.

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Axios: Talk to your kid tonight

Talk to your kid tonight
Illustration of a young child playing video games inside of a glowing protective wire frame dome.
Illustration: Aïda Amer/Axios. Stock: Getty Images
 
You probably don’t think twice when your kid disappears into their room for a few hours on Minecraft or Roblox. That’s exactly what makes this conversation worth having, writes Chase Reid, co-founder and CEO of Aslan, an intelligence platform for law enforcement, defense and intelligence professionals.

Questionable activity goes down on platforms kids use every day. Opening a conversation with them can be intimidating, but it’s worth it.

⚡ Threat level: Generative AI, deepfakes and autonomous chatbots are helping bad actors target susceptible kids more easily.🔍 

Reality check: You probably won’t find obvious warning signs on your kid’s phone.

What you might notice instead: withdrawal from longtime friends, a fixation on one online community to the exclusion of everything else, new language or memes that feel unusually dark, or sudden secrecy around their devices.

Here’s what parents can do:

1.  Talk about manipulation, not ideology.

The instinct is to frame this as a political problem: Don’t believe extreme ideas. But that’s not quite the right conversation.

Dangerous networks operate more like grooming operations than political movements. They find kids who are lonely, angry or searching for belonging, and they offer community. The ideology comes later.

2.  Build your kid’s sense of connection.

Teenagers are now the loneliest age group on earth, with 1 in 5 adolescents reporting chronic loneliness, according to a 2025 World Health Organization report.

The most vulnerable kids are the ones who feel isolated and purposeless. Your job is to make sure that void isn’t there — through dinner conversations, car rides and showing up for small moments (that are big to them).

3. 👁️ Know what you can’t see.

Most recruitment happens invisibly by design — closed servers, encrypted messaging apps and coded memes.

Parents, platforms and law enforcement are often all looking at the same blank wall. Your relationship with your kid is the most important safeguard there is.

The bottom line: One open conversation won’t fix everything. But it’s the right place to start. 

Resources worth bookmarking: Common Sense Media: platform-by-platform guides for parents. NCMEC: National Center for Missing and Exploited Children has a reporting tool for online exploitation. FBI Safe Online Surfing: internet safety curriculum for kids and families.
    
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The Rundown AI: Exclusive interview with Demis Hassabis on AGI

Exclusive interview with Demis Hassabis on AGI

Image source: The Rundown

The Rundown: We sat down with Google DeepMind CEO Demis Hassabis for an exclusive interview discussing when he expects AGI, AI’s role in drug discovery, which diseases are likely to get cured first, and what he thinks is still going unnoticed.

The details:

  • Hassabis said AGI is on track for 2030, plus or minus a year, but a few things remain unsolved: world physics, memory, consistency, and continual learning.
  • Timelines have hardened on drug discovery, too, with focus on oncology and immunology first and eventually an engine that could help cure any disease.
  • After AGI, Hassabis said he’d turn to understanding the nature of reality using AI and study more philosophical topics, like what it means to be human.
  • He said he can’t wait to see what students will build with advanced AI, adding that taste, original thinking, and emotional connection will be more valuable.

Why it matters: This interview with Hassabis paints a picture that AGI is going to be here soon, provided we fix the gaps. It will be an interesting age with kids growing up with advanced AI in their hands, and we can surely expect some big discoveries. The question is: will the adults be able to adapt to this new reality as quickly?

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