16th February 2004

Emails to Govt and relevant bodies

Child Sexual Abuse

People are human and the inability of the Church and State to arrive at a fair appraisal of the abuse sustained by claimants is unacceptable.

We must also  account of those who choose to ‘let the ghosts of the past remain in the past’.

There are key points to take account of:

It is a sad part to acknowledge that the human psyche is capable of making false claims in such a grotesque occurrence of abuse in the industrial schools.  There ought to be a sense of shame applied to those found so indicted by the Gardai and DPP and Courts.  However, the DPP is not such a clear issue.  This is based on evidence and the 50/50 rule.

All people subjected to the abuse require a social and ethical input – the economic factor in reality does not wipe out the pain or necessarily provide the coping strategies necessary.

I met a woman who had been in the Magdalen Laundries – the weekly lectures at Aware provided her with her courage to fight and survive.  Given that Aware, Grow and other organisations have groups all over Ireland, perhaps these ought to be involved in the Redress Board.

I have had the benefit of professional counseling for five years as a mature student in Trinity College Dublin.  I highly recommend that a process of counseling have a two dimension approach.  Haunted memories and retrieval is about real pain.  The pain affects the present and the future.  My experience is that the pain is tapered by the challenge of the education.  This brings about a further scope to the life of a person badly traumatised in their formative years.

One point I would also like to make.  I choose the word ‘Charlatans’ to convey the implications involved in attending counselors without formal Psychology qualifications.  The Government must seriously address this issue and grasp the implications also.

This needs to be overseen by the Redress Board and the necessary protection put in place for those who are vulnerable.

I recall in the 1980’s people who attended group therapy where via the subconscious and drawing, the counselor and client constructed an interpretation.  The interpretation I heard was most frightening.  One never can find out whether it was the truth or not but it had severe implications for other family members.  Also bear in mind it has implications for other members of the group in counseling.

A multi-disciplinary team and process for the coping strategies of those so abused is urgently required – the money is incidental to the pain.

Michelle

A quotation:

‘Human Compassion is equal to human cruelty, and it is up to each of us to

TIP THE BALANCE’

Alice Walker

Source: Citizen Journalism Ireland: Emails written concerning Iraq War 2003 by Michelle Clarke

Date:  3rd November 2003

What has really changed: 30th April 2017?

From: <editor@irishhealth.com>

To: <michelle33@eircom.net>

Subject: Message posted

Date: Friday, December 12, 2003 9:23 AM

Michelle,

Thank you for your comment, which has now been reviewed by the Editor and has been posted on the relevant site discussion area.

 — Original Message —

Hi Martin

I am glad you wrote to irishhealth.com.  The Government is not in earnest.

I have written one lever arch file on Disability related matters.  I circulate copious amounts of emails/letters to ministers, the National Disability Authority, the Irish Association of Suicidologists, Amnesty and feel totally horrified by the inability of our so called representatives to interact in any way.

Trinity University Dublin, if I can restore my health, face my application to Equality and Law Reform for their total inability to grasp Mental Illness and Brain Damage, this has become my missioin in life. I submitted all medical reports from neuro-psychologist, psychiatrist, doctors, counsellors and many others, as requested by the Disabilities Department in Trinity.  Reports have been triplicated in some cases and made available to lecturers, and others concerned in an alternative to final exams..  If Academia cannot broaden the agenda in education, then how can we expect graduates who take posts in say the NDA, Amnesty, to engage in a realistic fashion with those they claim to represent.  Academia; the Government with the exception of say two ministers; media representatives etc. are perpetrating stigma and fear instead of inclusiveness.

A paper was written by a member of the legal profession, Mr Quinn ‘from Charity to Rights’  I wrote to congratulate him on his input and suggest several other pertinent areas.  It is now 5 letters later asking for a response – I got none.  In the end I included that the right to die might as well be added now given the inability of academics and others to comprehend, to have manners; and who quite evidently judge the person and the their endeavours as inadequate for inclusion in their academic paper.  Again no response.

I wrote to Dan Neville and Irish Association of Suicidologists.  Because I choose to be open to my life experiences, these supreme beings in society determine my invisibility.  This is about power relationships.

When can we as people become visible.  The advert about the homeless and their invisibility applies to a lot of people.

It is the bureaucracy that is perpetrating the ‘us and them’ or in the words so aptly described by Charles Murray, the emerging ‘Underclass’.

I strongly object.

There are organisations gaining kudos with booklets; publications etc. on mental health who hold in such disdain the ‘mentally ill’ being who does not fit their methodological concept as no doubt perpetrated by our eminent universities.  They can be defined and allocated to data but just don’t interact with them on the basis of equality.

I regard my entry to Trinity as that of a mutant – I have really enjoyed it there but challenge the clone version that must graduate.  I am bipolar with traumatic brain injury therefore my scope is expansive……I am tired being told that their system of making modifications is to make me focus on a narrow spectrum………mine goes beyond.

I left – I completed my 15 page essay ‘Can you say mental illness is a form of social deviance’….. I could not complete the other 4.  You see the content re-iterated my perspective, my consultants perspective and neuro-psychologists perspective.  The academic elites of Trinity College Dublin departments could not even understand.  For further information, my blog is as follows: https://canisgallicus.wordpress.com  Search Michelle Clarke and Trinity College Dublin.  https://canisgallicus.wordpress.com/2017/02/19/trinity-college-dublin-1997-to-2003-but-no-degree-by-michelle-clarke-2/

It is these people who advise Government…………..who represents who?

Ironically, I am a representative for the mentally ill on Trinity College National Flexi-plan programme.  This will lead to interesting outcomes if energy permits.

Quotations:

Bertrand Russell

‘Into every tiny scheme for arranging the pattern of human life, it is necessary to inject a certain dose of anarchism – enough to prevent immobility leading to decay, but not enough to bring about disruption’

(Skeptical Essays 1960’s)

Einstein

‘Prejudice is harder to split than an atom’

You can view your comment, along with all comments, by clicking the following link:

http://www.irishhealth.com/discussion/message.html?dis=4&topic=3654

No 2

From: <editor@irishhealth.com>
To: <michelle33@eircom.net>
Subject: Message posted
Date: Wednesday, November 16th, 2003 8:39 AM

Michelle,
Thank you for your comment, which has now been reviewed by the Editor and has been posted on the relevant site discussion area.

— Original Message —

As September approaches and as children return to school, it is time for parents, teachers, children themselves, to consider situations that may occur while at school, namely bullying.

I read an excellent article in the Irish Times last week by Louise Holden. An awareness education course is to be run in Rathmines, Dublin 6, about bullying. Declan Byrne based in Coolmine (by 2017) http://www.ait.ie/staff/declan-byrneCached is involved and has written on this topic. He has knowledge of bullying situations over 30 years. His stated objective is to ‘Deter bullies before they do the emotional damage’.

For all the attention they receive, remember bullies are in the minority group. However, parents need to prepare themselves to provide the children with coping strategies. They must empower their children. They must be aware and work in line with the teaching staff, the Board, the parents association.

Teachers need to be firm and make children aware about Tolerance and Respect. Teachers also need support from parents in this regard.

No child is born a bully, the behaviour develops. This relates to the early attempts of the child to assert his own control and the method he/she learns. If the child attains power, status and control by bullying other children, Byrne suggests that it takes a powerful argument to make the change.  This point is an interesting one and is worth reflection in relation to bullying and life in general:

PERCEPTION IS VITAL.

ONE CHILD’S BANTER IS ANOTHER CHILD’S BULLYING.

Remember:
A person is a person and the behaviour is the behaviour.

Avoid the age old comments Bullying will do harm, it will harden the child up or it is part of life.

It does not. It is up to people to stop it thriving – Bullying weakens the foundation of a civilised society.  It is also worth considering this: a bully is always backed up by another bully.

We have the knowledge; we have a changing society; children become adults and unchecked learned practices are taken from school; to the workplace; to their ability to identify those with say poor health and in vulnerable positions; to apply it to those institutions like the mentally ill; and those in care.

The one point people ought to consider is that now we live a lot longer and it becomes more likely that we will end up living in old People’s Homes and bullying applies across the people spectrum; when you are vulnerable and beholden, it is not easy to complain.

It is best to teach children to identify and cope young.

Some suggestions:
Role play bully coping strategy techniques with your child. There are plenty of books now about self-esteem and children.

Again, children are precious but to allow a child to victimise and bully is fair to nobody. It is worth thinking about the impact on their lives and others who they have bullied. Some children survive but then there are others and the consequences manifest at a future time and can be fatal.

I think an Ethics class needs to be added to school curriculum to form a general value system and educate children in a more empathetic way.

Michelle Clarke.

Quotation:

‘Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, more violent. It takes a touch of genius and a lot of courage to move in the opposite direction’

E.F. Schumacher

You can view the article, along with all comments, by clicking the following link:

http://www.irishhealth.com/index.html?level=4&id=1968

No 3

From: <editor@irishhealth.com>

To: <michelle33@eircom.net>

Subject: Message posted

Date: Monday, November 24, 2003 9:28 AM

Michelle,

Thank you for your comment, which has now been reviewed by the Editor and has been posted on the relevant site discussion area.

— Original Message —

Dr. Owens – Mental Health Commission http://www.mhcirl.ie promotes an increase in alcohol prices for Government Revenue purposes

Michelle quotes Nietzche – it is irrelevant he spent the end of his life in an asylum: his writings are inspiration.

‘He who has the reason why can deal with any how’

Time and time again I ask that people try to understand the pain other people experience through depression; life events; different personality types, to the competitive model of person/people who are deemed success in Ireland.

To increase the price of alcohol without considering that it is an easily accessible remedy rather than facing life head on; will only alter lifestyles further.  The diet will change to virtually nothing, alternative lifestyle pursuits will be cut back on and people will still resort to alcohol that gives an immediate high and a hellish low.  They will hide drink in their homes or buy it in the crate for their flats.

The next step is tough.  You must alter your life substantially.  You may lose those you think are your friends but at least they listen to your repetitive fears about life.

The approach must be take responsibility but this does not apply to just the human being.

I ask about academic institutions and people who return as mature students for example – how supportive are these environments?  How many people drop out as a percentage of mature/disability/disadvantaged in a year?  What are the linkages like?  Who takes you under their wing and directs you to the counselling service?

The same in employment.  Someone must take the issue in hand.  There must be a process that assists person on a new pilgrim path to adjusting to life with less alcohol or if an alcoholic to none.

In regard to the many victims of child sexual abuse claims, I am sure many of these people have sought comfort in alcohol.  I also know the issue of compensation awaits.  From my own journey, being bipolar, anxiety driven and brain damaged, I would not have survived without a “Staircase.”

I highly recommend the Department of Education when considering making allocations of funds to those abused, that they provide a “staircase” so that what was abysmal in their life can be matched by a challenge; a climb upwards.  You don’t need to reach the top.  I couldn’t.  However, I have had a psychologist for 4 years who was a powerful person in my life.  I had 2 hours a week with whom I regard as a mentor over the last year and all told now there may be a future.  I also had the privilege of being a student in Trinity College Dublin.

I believe our education system and health system could gain immensely from breaking down the ‘us them’ dimension in favour of consensus and shared experience which would be used as soon as possible in our society.  People need to be made aware that it is alright to be different.  There is enough room for us all in an inclusive world with experiences we have encountered that may suit others.

I am greatly concerned about the number of charitable organisations out there under the guise of representing vulnerable people. I think the idea in Europe about Inclusion on the basis of self-advocacy would be far more productive.  Most people I wrote to never replied.  It is either fear or lack of manpower and over indulgence in producing such excellent web-pages.

I have to take benzos.  I have reduced them considerably but let me tell Dr. Owen that I really really needed them.  Therefore just upping the tax to me is an immediate source of revenue to please the Government but to cause real pain to people who have no means of coping just yet and at Christmas is totally unacceptable.

I must add I have written numerous times to members of IAS (Irish Association of Suicidology) http://www.ias.ie – there is no reply.  I would say a far cry from Dr. Kelleher’s proactive position.

Michelle

Quotes: I live by.  In 1998 in real pain, I started collecting random quotes for inspiration.  They proved a loyal friend

‘You must be the change you want to see in the world’

Gandhi

‘Mistakes are the portals of discovery’

James Joyce

You can view the article, along with all comments, by clicking the following link:

http://www.irishhealth.com/index.html?level=4&id=5401

No 4

From: <editor@irishhealth.com>

To: <michelle33@eircom.net>

Subject: Message posted

Date: Thursday, November 20, 2003 8:56 AM

Michelle,

Thank you for your comment, which has now been reviewed by the Editor and has been posted on the relevant site discussion area.

— Original Message —

Dr.  Kennedy:  Social or Psychiatric

Central Mental Hospital.

Michelle is very glad to see this addressed.  I have acquired brain injury; bipolar; anxiety and am managing to live alone.  I know what my situation is.  Previously  I had full control.  I used deal currencies etc and manage accounts.  Over the decade of recovery, the more I focus on writing – the more I am totally losing a grasp of money. I need to trust and risk and hope.

This is critical.  Dr. Kennedy from the Central Mental Hospital stated the fact that most cases are social issues rather than pure psychiatric.  I think he spoke of those categorised as social being 80%.  I really agree with what he says.  Nobody takes account that medications cause confusion and people then are afraid because of the bureaucratic system of civil service to ask for more assistance.  NALA would be excellent to provide a programme.

Linkages are required.  People need to examine social problems a lot closer.  I used to be a secretary and am now afraid to go to a bank, fill in forms –  anything that has the potential to humiliate, I avoid.

Just think of what a friend said about Billy Connolly at the Bafta awards.  The analysis he had was that Billy thought sideways, either side, rather that go down straight to the queue.  This is a good description of what BIPOLAR is about.  I reckon if we all knew a little more and showed more compassion to others, we could learn a lot to speed us on our way to our ‘inclusive’ Ireland and I mean Island of Ireland.

Michelle

You can view the article, along with all comments, by clicking the following link:

http://www.irishhealth.com/index.html?level=4&id=5396

Quotation

Flying High

‘A forest bird never wants a cage’

Henrik Ibsen (1828-1906)

No 5

From: <editor@irishhealth.com>

To: <michelle33@eircom.net>

Subject: Message posted

Date: Wednesday, November 05, 2003 8:56 AM

Michelle,

Thank you for your comment, which has now been reviewed by the Editor and has been posted on the relevant site discussion area.

— Original Message —

Vote: Smoking in public

I agree with both comments.  I will vote with irishhealth.com for no smoking in public.

The Joe Duffy show was most interesting today.  The whistleblower who was employed by a US tobacco company spoke openly about cigarette smoke being carcinogenic and en par with the damaging affects of Asbestos.

I recall traveling to work in London and seeing the large tower blocks with sheets hanging from the windows – seeking their demolition and stating that Asbestos was a killer.

I also lived in Zimbabwe.  I never quite put two and two together about tobacco and the two tier economy that existed.  Then one day I had visitors and I brought them to the Tobacco sales floor in Haarare – it was then I realised that this was America in Africa like in England when you have US airforce bases planted in wide open countryside.  This is about Power, commerce, cheap labour in Zimbabwe and other third world countries and funding regimes that do not comply with international conventions.

Each individual must take responsibility for their actions.  We seek an equitable situation for our fellow human beings surely.  If not, this should be an objective.  There is a lot of talk – is someone missing the obvious?

What about smoke detectors and the shrill noise they make if you let the food burn…….I would suggest if these were in pubs for example, the publicans could just leave it to other people who choose to frequent healthy environments to socialise.  Just a thought!

Back in 1992 – as I watched on a regular basis Zimbabwean men leave building sites so often funded by the World Bank and IMF, and I would secretly say to myself – O no; it is starting all over again – a cigarette indicates prosperity – just like it did in Ireland, UK, Europe a few decades ago.

Quote from Michelle

Petra Kelly – Green Politician in Germany

‘We cannot feast on global resources while the world’s poor struggle to survive on inhospitable lands.  It is as simple as that.  It is the rich who are making the world poorer.

ENVIRONMENT AND POVERTY ARE ONE CRISIS NOT TWO

You can view your comment, along with all comments, by clicking the following link:

http://www.irishhealth.com/discussion/message.html?dis=4&topic=3453

No 6

From: <editor@irishhealth.com>

To: <michelle33@eircom.net>

Subject: Message posted

Date: Wednesday, November 05, 2003 8:57 AM

Michelle,

Thank you for your comment, which has now been reviewed by the Editor and has been posted on the relevant site discussion area.

— Original Message —

Pain Clinic

All three comments were most interesting.

The Pain Clinic in Tallaght sounds ideal.  I have come to the stage in my life that perhaps it is a little unrealistic for us to think that other people can feel our pain or empathise.  To handle someone else’s sickness now has become out of vogue in the detached society we live in and it is my humble opinion that people are no longer able to cope.  In fact, they fear the reflection i.e. it could be them and would they handle it as well as you.

Distraction techniques – to take the negative connotations that go with depression, including shopping, pandering to your needs and whims, can also be turned around another way.

Pace oneself is key.  It has taken ten years for me to fully accept this.  I fought it and made matters a lot worse.  It is not that people did not encourage me to pace myself but then there were others, particularly family, (who are in denial) and to be kind, unknown to themselves they impose a pressure on you to get back to the old you (the person before the traumatic brain injury with the complications of bipolar and anxiety.

Early words in Zimbabwe from two nuns check in several times a day now even though it is a decade since the accident.  They are Rest Restores.

The other distraction technique I have is that I go to say a coffee shop locally – and annotate the relevant points that interest me in the newspaper.  Then I might look at the social aspects or even political and follow some made up theme of my own.

I also (due to no concentration) make notes of TV programmes that interest me and then type them up.

This kind of distraction helps me.  It might be of benefit to another.

Regarding the ‘want to die’ – I dance this dance with bipolar depression.

I went to the National Disability Library – Clyde Road and located an article written by Professor Quinn – Law Faculty ‘From Charity to Rights’.

The issue ‘Right to die’ is not included in this Disability Bill presently under review.

Quote:  (Yes I have a lever arch file of quotations I identify with, based on my solitary existence)

‘All suffering prepares the soul for Vision’ 

Martin Buber – Jewish Theologian.

You can view the article, along with all comments, by clicking the following link:

http://www.irishhealth.com/index.html?level=4&id=5312

No 7

From: <editor@irishhealth.com>
To: <michelle33@eircom.net>
Subject: Message posted
Date: Sunday, December 14, 2003 12:41 AM

Michelle,
Thank you for your comment, which has now been reviewed by the Editor and has been posted on the relevant site discussion area.

— Original Message —

Liam and anonymous

I agree, we must ensure parental responsibility or else a system of delegated responsibility.

The Irish society have a humanitarian system in place but the evidence does not reflect it.

I will just cite one example. I lived in Zimbabwe. I helped out at a place called Mashambanzou http://mashambanzou.blogspot.com established by two nuns just 8 miles outside Harare.

In line with Martin Luther King’s famous quote ‘I had a dream’, Sr. Noreen Nolan and Sr. Margaret McAllen  had a dream.

The plight was HIV/Aids; their major concern were women and children; provisions; education and this included the prisons too.

Both Noreen and Margaret realised in the early 1990’s the needs of orphans. They looked to the culture that existed. Children whose parents died normally were deemed to have blighted spirits so other family members remained aloof from helping out.

Noreen and Margaret found a location in an impoverished area in Mbare; they engaged with the bureaucracy that left a building unoccupied for well over a year. They sought avenues; they were proactive.

A building became available and the Rotary Club undertook to make it into a day centre.

Yes: They looked to the culture and psychology. They encouraged people to stand apart from superstition and take orphaned children into their families. They were paid a small amount but the key point is that the Day centre provided respite for the minders and occupation for many children. This was established in Mbare in the 1990’s and initially they accepted 70 children. Without doubt, many more are catered for by now. The people concerned were ‘givers’.

Sometimes when I see a young person on the street – I feel like sitting down and asking how can I empower you to self sufficiency. Key to this is why have both the education system and the family structure failed to such a degree.

We need to seek out talents because we each have them. Why are people so afraid to give a little more time; effort; love; initiative to empower people.

Gandhi: ‘You have to be the change you want to see’. This is the quote I constantly use to empower myself on recovery from 10 years ‘bad luck’ health.

Each person is capable of doing something. Children and young people are precious.

Michelle

You can view the article, along with all comments, by clicking the following link:

http://www.irishhealth.com/index.html?level=4&id=5421

No 8

From: <editor@irishhealth.com>
To: <michelle33@eircom.net>
Subject: Message posted
Date: Sunday, December 14, 2003 12:40 AM

Michelle,
Thank you for your comment, which has now been reviewed by the Editor and has been posted on the relevant site discussion area.

— Original Message —

Michelle says hello.

Thyroid deficiency.

I take medication called Lithium and unaware to me this can cause thyroid deficiency.

I became quite debilitated over a number of months last year. There was a heavy weight sensation about my body and real exhaustion as well.

I went to my GP and he suggested a thyroid blood test. Yes I needed the drug to correct metabolism. I had to take the tablet for nearly two months before the effects were noticed.

The transformation is amazing. I take one tablet each morning. The ‘lead’ sensation of a weight placed on top of me,  is almost at bay.

It is necessary to ensure taking the Eltroxin each day because one day without you really notice.

The exhaustion and muscular pain are also gone.

I know it relates to iodine. I think iodine is found in seaweed but if you have the blood test and you need Eltroxin I would really advise taking it. It makes a real difference to your quality of life.

A quote:

G.K. Chesterton

‘Education is simply the soul as it passes from one generation to the other’

You can view your comment, along with all comments, by clicking the following link:

http://www.irishhealth.com/discussion/message.html?dis=4&topic=3652

No 9

From: <editor@irishhealth.com>
To: <michelle33@eircom.net>
Subject: Message posted
Date: Tuesday, December 30, 2003 7:28 PM

Michelle,
Thank you for your comment, which has now been reviewed by the Editor and has been posted on the relevant site discussion area.

— Original Message —

Georg

Yes I am most aware of how children and vulnerable people become subject to abuse of a variety of kinds.

You cut to the chase. How do we as a society take responsibility? For the vulnerable there are no checks and balances. If one writes to Government departments, academics, etc. – they have not even the common decency to respond. If this is the case, how can we get reaction?

We are prone to sociological studies be they from the University Departments, ESRI, CORI etc.  I ask about the theme and linkages/interconnection (stop the silos) or is there a bureaucratic impasse to those who provide ‘PAPERS’ that endorse the writer and institution.

Homelessness is a long time in existence in Ireland, the UK, Europe – can we not do some ‘piggy backing’ research and cut to that chase. I suggest dealing with children is a priority and that education, curriculum changes and innovative thinking is URGENT.

Children are the future. A fair opportunity is the responsibility of the family and if they are not capable an ‘efficient’ state.

Questions need to be asked and ought to be answered. I have written a lever arch file on matters relating to social justice issues, particularly mental health and all I can conclude is that I am horrified at the audacity of bureaucracy to breach our constitutional right of checks and balances.

Again – how can we redress the situation?

Michelle in transition and trying to recover from ill-health – the bureaucracy needs to stop. It is time for people to take account of who they are and what they should contribute to society.

This quote is the basis of fear in our society – the one that it is basically about the Emperors New Clothes. It is time to strip the Emperor…….and it is time for caring and sharing.

‘The greatest kindness I have to offer you is always:
THE TRUTH’

The time is here to really ask what is going on at Tribunal Inquiry level.  Former politicians should not be allowed to make a mockery of the State – especially when we have a report that states 1,000 children are homeless in Ireland.

Quote: ‘What am I afraid to tell you who I am? Because if I tell you who I am, you may not like who I am…….and that is all that I have.

Fr John Powell

You can view the article, along with all comments, by clicking the following link:

http://www.irishhealth.com/index.html?level=4&id=5421

No 10

From: <editor@irishhealth.com>
To: <michelle33@eircom.net>
Subject: Message posted
Date: Tuesday, December 30, 2003 7:27 PM

Michelle,
Thank you for your comment, which has now been reviewed by the Editor and has been posted on the relevant site discussion area.

— Original Message —

Happy New Year – 2004:

I can well understand the Post Traumatic Stress you have suffered in the North of Ireland. The cause is only a small proportion of the effect.

The symptoms are common to all sufferers. What is a priority is the remedy and to best redress the matter?

Personally I am on anti-depressants, am bipolar, anxiety, and sustained brain damage from a horse riding accident, a broken marriage and a move from Zimbabwe to Ireland.

I can only share my source of remedies. The first step was a pre-university course, then a degree course which I could not complete due to health, reading, writing and quotes. At university I had the advantage of a Counsellor who was excellent.

Being inquisitive, I constantly seek an answer for me but also for others so this creates a linkage to say AWARE via the net, to GROW, to Mental Health Association, Headway, Acquired Brain Injury, et al.

During the first few years, I monthly attended lectures at Aware http://www.aware.ie/help/education/aware-monthly-lectures aimed at trying to get the patient and family to understand the nature of the illness. One lecturer but I can’t remember his name focused on the Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and he was excellent. Tony Bates also writes some excellent short books.  I recommend Common Sense Depression.

People will constantly brush off your comments in a dismissive sort of way – don’t heed them. They are in denial about something in their own lives and cannot take your situation on board. Remain confident that you are on a pilgrim path that will take you to freedom.

Well done for moving. It is so hard to explain to anyone what it feels like to be under scrutiny.

Happy New Year 2004

Michelle

Quote:  “Why I am afraid to tell you who I am
(Jesuit priest John Powell – Theologian, Psychologist, Sociologist).

I would also suggest a retreat. I go to Fr. Michael Rogers in Glendalough http://www.tearmann.ie and it is a cleansing experience.

You can view the article, along with all comments, by clicking the following link:

http://www.irishhealth.com/index.html?level=4&id=5461

No 11

April 2017

I have just read an article about a Jockey who has written a book.  He could not recall anything about his career as a jockey and with the help of a friend he has re-traced his steps through media coverage to arrive at that hidden space called memory.

Traumatic brain injury is often referred to as a silent epidemic but in my case there is an irony.  I could take notes, write diaries, write letters and tended to do so both before and after the horse riding accident that left me living a kind of groundhog day.  Childhood memories are prominent but yesterday – that is a different story.  20 years on I feel I am improving or more importantly that my memory is improving.  Like this Jockey, I am to explore what I have written and try and up-date it to WordPress.com

Technology replaced diaries but when I first arrived in Harare, the ship carrying our belongings and most importantly my computer (and this was back in 1992/1993 had not arrived).  For six months I lived in a house with a swimming pool, a maid, a gardener, in the suburbs of Harare where people did not mingle locally without any of our personal belongings and most importantly without the computer I received from Prudential Bache, The City in 1992.

I have hand written notes of my first impressions but they are just gathering dust and someday I will read them. Thanks to people with computer knowledge who I have met throughout the years I actually have copies of the letters I wrote to family and friends in those years in Zimbabwe from 1992 to 1995.  People who keep diaries are more likely to retain data than people who have used computer technology over the last two decades so I am sharing my views of being an expat in Zimbabwe from 1992.  These letters are not edited.  I may do so at a later stage.

==================

18 Cheshire Road,

Harare

Zimbabwe

20th April 1993

Dear Noel, Tessie, and Noetah

It was great to receive your recent letter and hear that all is well for you
over in the UK. The recession must surely be approaching its end at this
stage so let’s hope there are no more casualties on the employment side. A
good friend of mine had a similar experience to ours of January 1992 and when
they arrived back from their holiday in Ireland at Christmas, there was a
letter in the post for her husband making him redundant. Luckily, she has
a good job so the impact was not too drastic. However, she found out she is
expecting twins in July so all one can do is hope that Pat finds something
suitable in the meantime.

It must be so unpleasant for you at present in England with the bombing
campaign by the IRA. It is such a pity that these criminals cannot be caught
and sentenced to long terms in prison. It is so unfair on all those Irish
people who have no alternative but to work in England. What I so much object
to about the IRA’s campaign is that they indiscriminately kill those who
happen to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Let’s hope they are
caught and there is an end to this terrorist violence.

Shane is keeping well. Conor seems to be a thriving little boy who at 6
months fits into clothes for children aged one year and over. He will be a
well traveled little boy as Mella is taking him to Portugal in May with her
sisters and he comes to Zimbabwe on July 26th. It is nice when parents are
young and energetic!!! I can’t imagine being able to do likewise. Mella is
a good correspondent. She starts the letter and leaves a line or two at the
end which Shane fills in. Mum was out with Marie last week. They went for
coffee at the Swan Centre. Apparently Marie is having all kinds of work done
at Lavarna Grove. She is having double glazed windows installed. That will
make it nice and cosy for her.

The news still appears dismal in the building industry in England. No light
yet at the end of the tunnel. Harare, Zimbabwe is the beneficiary of much aid from the
IMF and World Bank which means that there are large developments being built
here at present. Joe’s present contract is a 17 storey office block for the
Post Office Savings Bank, it is due for completion in August. Then the plan
is that he will move to Eastgate which is to be the largest office/retail
development in Zimbabwe. It is a joint venture between Costain and John Sisk
Pvt. Ltd. It started about 2 months ago but initial management is being
dealt with by the Costain part of the venture.  However, it is hard to see that the momentum in the building industry here will be sustained. Funds from the IMF and World Bank will not last forever and will have to be repaid so we envisage that at the end of two years, work will have substantially dried up here so it will be back to the UK in time for the next boom, hopefully.

John Sisk are very well established in Zimbabwe, they are one of
the four largest contractors here so have a large % of the work. They are now looking to Mozambique. The war of 15 years is now ended and apparently vast quantities of funds are to be invested by the IMF and World Bank to re-build this war torn country. I read recently that there are some 2 million landmines yet to be exploded.There are no schools in existence and the infra-structure is completely destroyed. Apparently it was a rather beautiful country when occupied by the Portuguese. It borders Zimbabwe but unlike Zimbabwe which is landlocked, it has the benefit of the Indian Ocean.
It was a great holiday resort for those from South Africa in past times. They are now
trying to again capture this holiday market. Sisk’s are seeking work there.

=============

DIVORCE IN IRELAND – A NEW PHENOMENON OR NOT?

A turn of a circle!!!

In this essay I intend to examine the history of divorce in Ireland, what advantages are derived from the late arrival of Divorce legislation into the Irish Republic, to determine if there is anything which can be learned from the past which will initiate further changes in legislation and to review options available to spouses wanting to separate prior to the Act. Our legal system is based on Common Law and Statute Law. Judges interpret the relevant statutes and refer to precedents set down in earlier cases. On 24th November 1995, the citizens of Ireland approved an amendment to the Constitution allowing the Oireachtas to pass the new Family Law (Divorce) Act 1996 (“Divorce Act”). The Divorce Act came into operation February 27th 1997. The interpretation of the statute, the lack of precedent cases to refer to, precedents of void/voidable marriages, the Recognition of Foreign Divorces Act 1986, Article 41 of the Constitution which recognises the Family “as the natural primary and fundamental unit group of Society”, the endeavours in America and the UK to re-establish this principle, the “no fault” aspect, are some of the many areas make the new Divorce Act an interesting area to examine.

What is interesting is that in the 8th/9th Century Ireland in Brehon law, divorce was an option. Men could divorce their wives for betrayal, where the wife brought disgrace to his honour, if she stole, for procuring an abortion or aborting herself, for failure as a housekeeper and if there was mutual consent. Women could likewise divorce their husbands; if the husband was sexually unsatisfactory, i.e. he was sterile, impotent, a homosexual or obese, if he became a vagrant or lost all his property, if he maltreated her, for slander, derision, neglect or deception, if he paid insufficient maintenance, for breach of marital privacy, for madness or an incurable illness or where the man opted to take a second wife. Brehon law worked on the basis of penalties, a pregnancy as a result of rape meant the father had to rear the child and in a divorce situation, the dowry had to be repaid to her family by the husband and any chattels, possessions or money brought by her to the marriage had to be returned to her. She was also entitled to a distribution of the gains made during the marriage period. In the 9th Century the Vikings invaded. Women had a prominent position in their culture which intermingled well with Gaelic culture. Viking women could inherit and hold property in their own name. They were free to divorce their husbands and retrieve goods brought to the marriage. This system indicates an equality between men and women and their contribution to the family unit. Having lived in Zimbabwe, it is interesting to note that in that Society, women work equally, if not harder than men. A maid in a house is senior, both financially and in status, to a gardener (often her husband). Children of a marriage are reared by grandparents, aunts or others who receive payment. In Zimbabwe “Lobola” is paid by the husband-to-be to the Bride’s family, interestingly this mirrors the following Brehon law:-

“The husband-to-be shall pay a bride-price of land, cattle, horses, gold or silver to the father of the bride.
Husband and Wife will retain individual rights to all the land, flocks and household goods each brings to the marriage”.

The Anglo Norman Conquest of Ireland took place in the 1169. Gaelic law and Viking Law were over-taken by English Common Law which incorporated the religious concept of marriage as an indissoluble union for life, as a sacrament of the church, and the consensus of opinion that the preservation of the stability of marriage was a vital social need. Until the mid-1880’s, marriage was the exclusive concern of the Church of England. Disputes were dealt with by the Church’s own courts and Canon law pertained. The ordinary courts did not deal with matrimonial matters at all. Canon law regarded marriage as a sacrament and did not permit remarriage in the lifetime of the other spouse, however it did permit separation. They granted divorce mensa et toro (‘from table and hearth’) in cases of adultery, cruelty or desertion. They made orders for custody of the children and financial support for wives and children called ‘permanent alimony’. Sacramental marriage as previously stated was indissoluble and created no property rights between the spouses. Church teaching stated “The Twain Shall be of One Flesh”. It is this influence that removed the partnership concept of the early Gaelic/Viking law that if both parties agree, a marriage contract can be dissolved.

Social pressures brought about changes in the evolution of the concept of marriage (‘the sacrament of the Church altered and it became marriage, the partnership, the contract). The medley of Church and Contract law however has created unclear parameters. Divorce in today’s society is prevalent and if this is the case, then those who choose to marry should be free to marry without the predominant influences of Church interpretation. Marriage, as a partnership is a matter for the civil law; it is formed by agreement i.e. a contract. If it is a contract then it should be possible to dissolve it by agreement or by the court if it becomes unworkable or one party has broken a basic term of the agreement. The property rights should therefore depend on the terms of the agreement, some assets being owned separately, others jointly. The Family Law Act 1995 and the Divorce Act has not yet enveloped this development which existed in the past. Present separation and divorce legislation may be contrasted with the traditional law of maintenance and succession which was based on marriage as a life-long contract. The spouse who failed to act in accordance with the contract lost his or her rights as detailed in the contract, and the other spouse was entitled to be placed, as far as possible, in the same position as if the contract had been observed. The result was that the deserting spouse lost maintenance and succession rights but the innocent spouse could claim that his/her standard of living be maintained as if the marriage had subsisted. The element of “no fault” in the Divorce Act prevents this approach unless the Judge decides to take account of the provision “that if the conduct of the spouse is such that in the opinion of the court it would be in all the circumstances of the case be unjust to disregard it”. Presently pre-marriage contracts, providing for what is to happen in the event of divorce, are deemed frustrated, because any agreement on marriage which contemplates divorce is contrary to public policy and void. Pre-marriage contracts apply in America and terms can go so far as to include brides determining their value in the event of them not remaining in paid employment. Marriage for life i.e. pre the Divorce Act possibly merited a sharing of assets/finances gained pre-marriage but now that divorce is an option, it is my opinion, that a spouse should by contract be able to identify assets/property/money which are not to be divided at the Courts discretion in the event of a divorce. If a spouse receives money from their family, it surely is a presumption, to assume that it is given to the husband and wife.

In Ireland we have had the benefit of being able to review divorce legislation in other countries, to see the pitfalls and the social implications. We have had to amend our constitution which places a high value on the family as a unit, in such a way as to prevent a divorce if at all possible. The conditions to be complied with are stringent with a strong emphasis on supporting dependent members of the family unit. The interesting aspect of the Irish Divorce Act is that it is “No Fault”. If the following conditions are complied with, then either spouse can proceed with a divorce application:-

1. At the divorce application, the spouses must have lived apart from one another for a period of,
or periods amounting to, at least 4 years during the 5 year period preceding the application.

2. There must be no reasonable prospect of reconciliation.

3. The court must be satisfied that proper provision exists or will be made for the spouses or
any dependent members of the family.

4. At least one of the spouses must be either domiciled in the State on the date proceedings were started, or ordinarily resident in the state for at least one year prior to that date.

4 years separated during a 5 year period is intended to give adequate time for an opportunity to reconcile and still not jeopardise the divorce. The Divorce Act allows the court to make a variety of orders before deciding whether to grant a divorce. This is important as the spouse, who has financial and other commitments to their family unit, will have to prove to the court that during the 4 year period prior to the application for divorce that they have complied with the condition to provide support. 41.3.2 of the Constitution stated that no law can be enacted in Ireland to allow a marriage to be dissolved. This meant that the people of Ireland, unlike their other European neighbours, could not divorce and remarry. Alternatives were and are still available, namely for the Courts to grant a judicial separation or to declare a marriage to have been invalid from the start i.e. State annulment or nullity. These alternatives provided a partial solution to the problem but the 1995 referendum, although only by a marginal vote, saw Article 41.3.2 replaced. It was put forward that 41.3.2 be simply removed and no other provisions be added but the importance of the protection of the family unit and the inability to make divorce an easy option resulted in the insertion of 4 provisions stated above.

The impact of the Divorce legislation is questionable. Now we have Divorce but is the cost and work involved to obtain it worth it, either financially or emotionally? Divorce permits remarriage but the assumption is that those presently separated want the freedom to remarry their new partners. By virtue of the fact that no legal entitlement to divorce existed pre 1997 does not mean that marriages did not break-down. They did and people sought their own remedies and Family Law legislation particularly since 1986 aimed at protecting those affected by marital breakdown. For those determined to separate, options existed. The Domicile and Recognition of Foreign Divorces Act 1986 ensured where one spouse changed their domicile and obtained a divorce in that jurisdiction that their divorce was recognised and that they were free to remarry. The mobility of labour throughout the 1980’s and 1990’s made this a possible option. The DRFDA 1986 changed the law in that a woman is no longer deemed to be the same domicile as her husband. I suspect the Revenue and Courts have shown leniency in their definition of “domicile” prior to the Divorce Act but now the domicile rule will be more strictly interpreted, otherwise, rather than use the Irish system for divorce, the alternative, quicker and cheaper, route in the UK, would be more effective. Civil or State annulments were also an option. A State annulment is a High Court Declaration that the marriage was null and void and therefore never existed. This is a costly and protracted procedure which costs over £10,000. The High Court can grant a Decree of Nullity for a number of reasons, including:-
• incapacity to marry, e.g. if either party was married to someone else at the time of the marriage or was under age
• not observing the formalities e.g. no witnesses
• non-consummation of the marriage
• absence of free consent, e.g. if it can be proved that, at the time of the marriage, either person was incapable of understanding the implications of a marriage contract due to insanity, or that either person was intoxicated, under duress, impotent, or unable to sustain a normal marital relationship (e.g. due to a serious psychological, emotional or psychiatric disability which was not known to the other person at the time of the marriage).
Again, this is an area where the Courts may have extended boundaries particularly re. duress or where the person was deemed unable to sustain a normal marital relationship. A Decree of Nullity, given the absence of Pre-Marital contracts, in my opinion, will continue, where possible, to be an alternative to Divorce. If one party is more financially endowed than the other and there is a possibility of having the marriage declared void i.e. deemed to have never existed, this will be the recommended route, as they will not be obliged to pay maintenance to the dependent spouse and the obligations that must be complied with as per the Constitution amendment will not apply.

It is interesting to note that inspite of the Divorce ban, the legislation passed in Ireland over the past 10 years is protective over the family unit. The Status of Children Act 1987 removed discrimination in law between children within and outside marriage. The Jurisdiction of Courts and Enforcement of Judgements (European Communities) Act 1988 ensures the recognition and enforcement of civil orders including maintenance in the European Union. The Adoption Act 1988 permits children of married parents to be adopted in exceptional cases. The Family Law Act 1988 abolished action for restitution of conjugal rights. The Judicial Separation and Family Law Reform Act 1989 extended the grounds for obtaining judicial separation, provided the courts with power to distribute property on separation and to order maintenance for dependent spouses and children. This Act also recognises a person’s work within the home, or in looking after children, as a contribution to be taken into account in making such orders. The Children Act 1989 makes provision for placing children in care in certain cases. The Jurisdiction of Courts and Enforcement of Judgements Act 1993 provides for the enforcement of civil orders including maintenance orders in other European jurisdictions. The Maintenance Act 1994 provides for the enforcement of maintenance orders. The Social Welfare (No. 2) Act 1995 ensures that divorcees will not be disadvantaged in terms of their social welfare entitlements. The Family Law Act 1995 strengthens the powers of the Courts in relation to maintenance and pensions, raises the age of marriage to 18 years, introduces three-month notice period for marriages, and provides role for welfare service in family cases. Women’s Aid, the National Council of Women, AIM and others have played a significant role in the protection of women and children and have been instrumental in the legislative changes mentioned above.

The foregoing legislative changes all consolidate the family orientated approach to be found in Ireland and indicate a policy of protectionism to children and dependent spouses. Women more often tend to be the dependent spouse. The emphasis on “economic” contribution, the non economic value of women’s work within the home and as carers, the tendency for men to earn higher incomes greatly diminishes a woman’s access to economic value hence it is necessary for the courts to be fair in administering divorce/separation/maintenance legislation. Hopefully now that divorce is an option, newly married couples will set a new agenda. Women who choose to marry will be cogniscent that it may no be a life-time commitment and will more than likely remain in the workforce, limit their family size, send their children to crèche facilities and the emphasis should alter from dependency to economic equality. However, before this evolution can take place, the situation at present, according to Alan Shatter, author of Family Law in Ireland, is that there are 90,000 separated people in Ireland and there are no doubt many others playing the wait and see option prior to their decision of going through the legal process for separation/divorce.

Divorce in the UK is easy to obtain but often there is a Decree nisi and inadequate financial provision made for the first family. The lack of family emphasis and ease and speed with which a divorce can be obtained has created its own social problems. In my opinion, the undertaking to marry, have children and create a solid unit is important. To make it easy for either spouse to renege on the commitments of this undertaking is not beneficial to society. In America and the UK, they are now re-appraising the ease with which a divorce can be obtained and luckily in Ireland we have had the advantage of looking at the impact of divorce in other countries and the social problems created. The procedure as directed by the Divorce Act for respective solicitors to advise and give details of counsellors, to recommend mediation, the 4 year rule, the requirement to provide adequate maintenance to dependants all focus on the perspective of giving both spouses every option to re-consider their decision to separate.

Divorce in Ireland – a new phenomenon or not? Not really. Divorce is a legal term relating to common law and statute and the aim is to put an end to a formal contract of marriage. A married couple may choose to live apart and in the absence of Divorce legislation in the past, solutions were found; wives/husbands were deserted, separation agreements existed, marriages were declared void, foreign divorces were obtained. The Family Law Act 1995 gives power to the Circuit Court to make orders on financial provisions for spouses in the event of judicial separation and /or foreign divorce. The Act is comprehensive permitting the court to make a number of orders in relation to maintenance, periodical/lump sum payments, property adjustment orders, financial compensation orders and pension adjustment orders. In the case of a dependent spouse, retirement benefit orders and contingent benefit orders can be made. This in effect means that a choice can be made by couples to select the Judicial Separation route enabling to avail of the foregoing provisions. Then at a later stage, they have a “second bite at the cherry” when an application is made for the divorce. In this case, the divorce application may be appropriate for the spouse whose circumstances have deteriorated since separation while the circumstances of the other spouse have improved or for the dependent spouse and family, who at the time of the separation were not made aware of the true economic position and as a result do not receive a fair settlement.

Creases still exist. Changes in legislation must occur. The forthcoming divorce cases or lack of them will indicate the options people choose once they decide to terminate their marriage.

Essay: Michelle Clarke
23 Oaklawn
Castleknock
Dublin 15
Ph/Fax: 8222802

BIBLIOGRAPHY:-

Amorys Aufochs, Divorce. A practical guide to Divorce in Ireland. Dublin 1997.
Burgoyne, Ormrod, Richards. Divorce Matters. Chaucer Press, Suffolk, Great Britain 1987
Dowling Daly, Mary, Irish Laws 1989
KPMG, Pension Matters Brochure, 1996
Long, Ian, Divorce Separation and the Family, 1997
Lysaght, Charles, Women’s Political Association 1997.
O’Reilly, Carol-Anne, Consumer Choice. November 1995
Wood, Kieron, O’Shea, Paul, Divorce in Ireland. 1997.

11th September 1997

Dear Mary,

Thank you so much for responding and as requested I am sending the Divorce essay by fax.

I am delighted I passed and would like to thank you, Ailbhe and the team for providing me with the confidence to apply to University full-time. I was accepted by Trinity BESS and hope I can succeed at this even at this late age in my life.

Regards,

Michelle Clarke

There is too much accumulated pain in this world today…….it is time to learn and make the change.

George Santayana ‘Those who forget history or condemned to repeat it’

February 2002, sitting alone and trying to enhance memory skills (outcome of a horse riding fall), I transcribed a TV programme on the human impact of war. Nearly three years later (with virtually no memory of the intervening period), I find the details. The coincidence is that it is the day George Bush becomes President of the US for a second term). As a Pacifist I have decided to re-circulate this.

President Bush is democratically elected for the next four years so now we must appeal to people to link to a route that will seek to achieve peaceful resolution.

A comment and the profound impact of the visual on the television focuses my attention to another person’s stark reality. The young man says:-

‘The reality changes with the first air-raid’.

‘It needs to be witnessed, felt, the sense of smell must be evoked. The Macho men all of a sudden are ‘scared men’. The world becomes four-dimensional. They are face to face with the immanence of death.

He states the key factor as the sense of guilt……yes, its is the paradox. ‘YOU LIVE AND ANOTHER DIES’

The point is poignantly made that the war environment inflames the will to live but this gives way to a will to no longer live, once they have returned ‘Home’.

The reality is that mental wounds are just the same as physical wounds.

What people forget is the reality of the war front; the need for alcohol; to enhance entertainment and compensate for loss of family, friends…. Combatants can ‘play around’ with dead bodies and fire hand grenades. There are no sanctions as such. The word CONTEXTUALISE IS SO OFTEN FORGOTTEN.

The reaction of the Ministry of Defence in the UK to the problems that arose per consequence of the Falklands war, was to reduce the medical budget. This appears incredible when one considers just what happened in Vietnam when three times the number of men who died in action actually committed suicide. This does not take account of those affected by alcohol, drug addiction and other scars of war. In the UK, more combatants have now died from suicide than were killed in the Falklands war and the numbers are rising significantly.

It is at this point, we need to ask, what can be done to halt the atrocities of War in Iraq and put an end to the War of Terrorism. People are suffering and people will continue to suffer. This is a quote that may help us to take another view. It is at least worth thinking about………

The Talmud
‘We do not see the world as it is, we see the world as we are’

July 7th 2016

The Chilcot Report was released yesterday.  Clearly the foregoing quotation is accurate because there was form of mania with those who had absolute power like Tony Blair Prime Minister UK and President George Bush that resulted in war games that continue to this day with an ever increasing amount of horror and distress to innocent people in particular in the Middle East and North Africa.

The decision:  Is there a Crime of Aggression?  Will Mr Blair face the International Criminal court?

Chilcot report: Tony Blair takes ‘full responsibility’ for Iraq war as https://www.telegraph.co.uk/…/chilcot-report-2003-iraq-war-was-unnecessary-a&#8230;

17 hours ago – Sir John Chilcot delivers scathing report after seven years; Inquiry finds invasion was unnecessary, but not illegal; War ‘not the last resort’ and …

Reviewed June 11th 2019

Michelle Clarke

 Amendments made: January 2006 (789 words)

For the attention of:  

Dr. Ian Paisley, to the PD’s and their harsh sentiments to decommissioning and to those who heckled Mr. O’Caoilain in the Dail yesterday.

It was my humble belief that it was time for reflection with the hope of  PEACE.

I lived in Zimbabwe in the 1990’s and worked in the City, London in the 1980’s early 1990’s.  I was involved in a horse riding accident and suffered acquired brain injury.  This hampered my life but I can read and relate to pre accident. Today, I completed a book I found in a second hand shop.  The title attracted me – The Real Irish Peace Process – A Socialist Democracy publication published in 1998. I would recommend this factual account of ‘The Troubles’ onwards to the Peace Process.  The main elements of the book emanate from discussion papers and articles written in 1997, they also relate to the David Hume (Nobel Peace Prize) and  Gerry Adams discussions.

Now let’s go back to Zimbabwe, formerly Rhodesia.  1982 saw the end of Guerilla war in Rhodesia, the former British colony, and the Lancaster Agreement was enacted – the new State  was formed.  It would be fair to say it was partially  modeled on the Republic’s cessation as a colonial power.  Like Ireland, the Zimbawean people had to endure a civil war.  The golden rule ‘Divide and Conquer’ applied yet again and pitted the Shona tribe (President Mugabe) against the Matebele tribe (Joshua Ngoma).  One need only listen to the news and realize the heightened sense of conflict in this country.  Lord Mansfield’s words about ‘Absolute power corrupts and power corrupts absolutely’ could be said to be apt and famine and drought blights the poor.  The people of  this troubled country need support.

Ireland on the other hand has consistently through generations sought a Nation State.  Now with the committed efforts of all parties involved in the Peace Process – there is hope.

This Peace Process has been endorsed by people like President Clinton, Senator Edward Kennedy and many others in the US.  Prime Minister Blair has been committed in his endeavours as has our Taoiseach.  People like Mr. Trimble, Mr. Hume, Mr. McGuinness, Mr. Gerry Adams, Mr. Gerry Kelly and so many more have been relentless in their endeavours to work with the IRA and to achieve all that is but one step a way from the Hope of an Island of Ireland.

I did not include Dr. Paisley for one reason. As a person I do not know him but his behaviour and vanity is not acceptable.  I feel it is time for him to leave aside similar remarks that I recall coming from a certain nun I lived in fear of at school.  The remarks aimed at creating fear…..the combatant of love.

Doris Lessing now in her late eighties moved from Persia to Rhodesia and was one of the Revolutionaries expelled from Rhodesia by the Ian Smyth (British Colony) government.

Given my experiences in Zimbabwe I bought her book ‘African Laughter’.  President Mugabe invited her to return to Zimbabwe in the 1990’s and the book was the outcome of the visit.

Subtlety appeals.  I recall that every office, hotel, etc. had a photo in a prime location of President Mugabe (perhaps just in case one would forget!!!).   Doris Lessing however found a ‘Poem’ in most offices.  Appropriately, the title is ‘THE BOSS’

The Boss drives his men

The Leader inspires them

The Boss depends on authority

The leader depends on Goodwill

The Boss evokes fear

The Leader radiates love

The Boss says ‘I’

The Leader says ‘WE’

The Boss shows who is wrong

The leader show what is wrong

The Boss knows hot it is done

The Leader knows how to do it

The Boss demands respect

The Leader commands respect

SO BE A LEADER, NOT A BOSS

I would hope that during this time of reflection that we can look to the leaders and ignore the Narcissists.  Narcissists are the people concerned with how they appear as distinct from what they FEEL.  They deny feelings and CONTRADICT THE IMAGE THEY SEEK.  Acting without feeling, they tend to be seductive and manipulative, striving for power and control.  They are egotists focused on their own interest but lacking the true values of the self – namely self expression, self-possession, dignity and integrity……on the cultural level, narcissism is seen as the loss of human values’……(Book title  Narcissism:  Denial of the True Self.  Alexander Lowen MD)

I am sure we all can identify Boss/Narcissist people but these too are part of what David Hume refers to as ‘Diversity in Unity’

Michelle says bye and one more comment:  Stockbrokers Bond:  My Word is my Bond – surely the suggestion of photos diminishes the principle.

28 Cheshire Road, Mount Pleasant, Harare, Zimbabwe

March 3rd, 1993

My dearest Mum,

No longer will you be subjected to my appalling writing.  As you can see my computer arrived safe and sound, as did everything else.  All the stories we heard were only horror stories.  Every item packed in Bishop’s Stortford, arrived six months later in Zimbabwe in perfect order.  I was getting quite nervy about the prospect of having to engage in insurance claims.

Weather here is dull and although not very cold, temperature wise, one tends to feel it.  At night I have taken to sleeping with a slumber down as I awoke several nights feeling cold.  It must be that you adapt to temperature changes.  18 Cheshire Road, looks somewhat more like a home now that the TV, stereo and a few other bits and bobs have arrived.  Some 18 boxes were unpacked yet evidence of this is scarce if one looks around the house.  My clothes (too numerous) are so smart by Zimbabwean standards, I doubt if I will get much wear out of them.  I suppose they were geared towards London City work, not Third World Zimbabwe housewife duties.  What news can I give you?  How are you feeling since Puffie died?  I feel so sorry for you, it is so lonely to lose an animal that you love, particularly one such as Puffie, who had so few people to love him.  Has Gracie started to look healthy once more?

My study looks well now – quite officious actually.  March 1st proved to be a rather lucky day for Joe and myself.  Firstly everything arrived intact, secondly Joe had a meeting with V. Utria, Fleet Utria, Architects which he was not looking forward to and surprisingly, they accepted his revised programme for POSB, and thirdly, his immediate boss, confirmed that within two weeks, he would receive his 2 litre car as promised in his contract of employment.  The Managing Director had approved it that morning.  So far, all is well with Sisks and we have no reason to complain.  Anything we request, like the desk/chair is bought for us and of course there was the unexpected pay increase which just arrived in his monthly salary.  What a change from 1992?  How is work for you?  Hopefully, now the weather will be improving and I am glad to hear you have been out in the garden already.   I am dying to see home again.  I woke up quite disorientated this morning.  I had been dreaming I was back living in 23 Oaklawn, with Marie across the road providing the usual cup of coffee and chat.  When I finally got to grips with where I actually was living i.e. Africa, disappointment set in.  So much for dreaming!!!!

Joe, with the other syndicate members, went to look at the racehorse.  An xray must now be done to ascertain if she has a problem or not.  I must go and see her as Joe says she has a lovely temperament.  Simon went with Joe to the meeting on Sunday and he seems to think that she may be ignored by the trainers in favour of other horses.  I suppose this is a drawback with a syndicate of seven, each thinks the other will show interest and the trainers avail of the confusion.  If all is okay, her first race will be next October.  If you visit next Christmas you may even be able to see her race here at Borrowdale.

Work is the same as ever for Joe – he still operates the book with the loans to various people on site.  Each Friday they pay him back and by Tuesday, the loan is required yet again.  Little Madara John, his 70 year old “maker of tea”, comes to him each Monday, rubbing his tummy, head held low and says “I’m hungry boss”.  It would need to be seen to be believed.  Several weeks ago, one of the more promising of the young indigenous employees came to him and asked him to help him save.  He gave no reason as to what it was all about.  Each week, he lodged with Joe a proportion of his earnings.  Last Friday, he arrived to draw down the money.  Apparently, it was for a lobola, he was to be married that Sunday.  He was short a $100 (£10) so Joe lent it to him.  Needless to say, he was due back Monday morning (no such thing as time off here for these poor people).  Joe enquired about the wedding – it had not gone ahead, his lobola was insufficient.  The parents wanted in addition to the $2,000, 4 cattle, $600 for the Mother, a new suit of clothes for the Father etc.  There was the usual family conference consisting of all the uncles and the girls young brother of 16 who voted that the marriage should not proceed.  Poor old Chisipo – no bride for $2,000 (£200). He only earns $200 (£20) per week, so there is a lot more saving involved.  What a strange custom this is?

Now it is one week later and I resume writing.  I had intended to send off this letter at the weekend but we were in Nyanga.  Sally and Graeme had invited us to make up a group.  What a disaster?   What a propensity to drink these people have?  Not once did they move away from the Bar, everything was drink motivated.  I thought we would never get back to Cheshire Road.  The one redeeming point of the weekend was a horse-riding trek for 1 hour.  How enjoyable?  Pity we did not go riding when you were over.  Next time.  I am now thinking of taking up lessons again and Joe is now keen also.  An ideal opportunity exists to do so.  French classes are going well and other students are friendly.  I suppose we are all in the same boat i.e. we can’t work so we must find ways and means of filling in our time.

Mary and Benson are well.  Benson’s wife reappeared on Monday to find out where her children are?  They are now out in the rural areas with his father’s second wife.  He is becoming more stylish of late, I suspect he is wife hunting.  He sure didn’t look happy when his wife returned on Monday.  Easily known it was the wife and not the mistress.

Mum with your next few letters, can you start enclosing some Surmontil capsules.  I presently have 68 Paristelin so maybe you can send me some more of these also.  The remittance can be done on a gradual basis with your weekly letters.  My dentist phoned me yesterday.  The recommendation is that Paristelin be stopped for 6 weeks or else a full anaesthetic.  I explained as I had no problems since the removal of the crown, maybe we would leave it until I am off the paristelin.  I do not fancy a full anaesthetic over here.

Marcy continues to write and all is well for her and her family.  She sent us two St. Patrick Day badges.  Shane appears well but busy.  Is Conor a red-head?  The last photos show him to be red rather than blond.  He sure is a handsome little fellow for four months.  I am really looking forward to seeing him and all of you.  It can be quite lonely here – I feel so very far away.  I feel a transient, no plans can be made, life is in abeyance until something of reality re-appears.  But then what is reality?  So much for a desire of certainty – this time, the things that have occurred have ensured that there is none.  No job, a rented house, a country that is far removed from what one is used to.  One reassures oneself that the experience is valuable but then who needs two years experience.

What I find so surprising here is the capacity people have for alcohol?  Everyone not only drinks but drinks a lot.  It is very cheap but then surely that should not be a reason.  There is no stability about the place.  Nobody is looking towards a permanent future, it is more a means to an end.  The white population here are so insecure.  They don’t know what the outcome will be for them.  If you work hard, acquire a nice house, a nice car and the usual luxuries, you are unsure that you will be able to maintain it.  The prospect of it being a noose around one’s neck is real.  If one chooses to emigrate, you leave all behind you, so no incentive exists to do anything but to live each day as it comes (the African mentality which is unwittingly superimposed on the Whites).  It is a strange concept coming from our culture.  In so many ways, it is not we who change the African but he who changes us.  Standards which would not be accepted elsewhere, one gives into here and permits them to do things at their pace as opposed to ours.

Shane sent me an account re. Laurel Lodge.  I notice that Mr. Casey has not been paid by me.  I presume you have paid him.  Please let me know how much I owe you.  Thanks for organising everything to do with the house.  It is great it is let and particularly at £320 per month and paid up a year in advance.  Can you believe it?  1993 sure is better than 1992 for me.  When you convert the money to Zim$ – one sure has a lot of purchasing power.  Mind you, there is nothing I want to buy so it is compulsory saving yet again.

Well, I will write again shortly.  Missing you lots.

Love as ever

Michelle

Letter No 1

18 Cheshire Road, Mount Pleasant, Harare, Zimbabwe

March 17th, 1993

My dearest Mum,

Well, its your Bank Holiday.  St. Patrick’s Day is a big event in Harare – I don’t know why but I guess there must be a lot of Irish people living here.  There is a Ball in the Monomatapas Hotel tonight and also at the Sheraton.  The Mashonaland Irish Association (much supported by Sisk personnel) have their Ball on Saturday night at the Harare South Club.  It is a black tie affair and needless to say Joe and I are going.  Today, Joe is out playing golf for Sisks in support of their St. Patrick’s Day Golf outing.   Marcy sent me two St. Patrick’s Day badges which were duly noticed by our Church-going Mary.  This led to the questions about St. Patrick and the comment “he is concerned with ‘our’ church”.  I asked her if she would like a badge and the answer was a most definite “yes”, she would wear it to her Church on St. Patrick’s Day as they were all convening for mass.

Mum – have you seen “Fried Green Tomatoes starring Jessica Tandy”.  A crowd of us went last Saturday evening and what a lovely film. I really enjoyed it.  It is sad but it is worth seeing.  It has a happy ending.  You and Marie must go to see it.  I know you would love it.  Probably by now it is out on video in Ireland – we are way behind the times with up-to-date films here.

Still no sign of Joe’s car.  We are promised now that we will have it for the trip to SA at Easter.  Keep your fingers and toes crossed.  I am rather tired of the pick-up now.  It is no longer a novelty as we infrequently travel out of Harare.  At first it was great because it was well able to handle all those dirt track roads seeking out true rural Africa.  The novelty has now worn off.

I had a letter from Kate.  All seems well for her again.  Eastmoreland Court sounds very grand and no rent as well.  Can you believe it?  How do they manage?  Those apartments at Eastmoreland Court were expensive and looked very nice when they were being developed.  Baggot Street is a pleasant area to live in.  I used to love it when I worked in that locality.   About the maintenance for Wellington House – you mentioned that you gave the money to Shane.  However, Shane deducted this amount from rental on Laurel Lodge.  Can you check it out with him.  He has included £100 maintenance on the list of expenses pertaining to Laurel Lodge, deducted from the rent received.

Sounds nice now that Spring has arrived and you are once more out in the garden.  The rain is ending here, the days are not so cloudy and damp.  So much for their summer – now I know what Irene used to be talking about when she said about wet seasons and it being necessary to avoid them.  Yesterday, was a lovely day.  I went to my French classes and then went for coffee with Anise.  Anise is from Kenya.  Her husband is a doctor who did his post-graduate training in Kenya, where she met him and married him.  She is African and I must admit it was enjoyable chatting to her about their culture.  She envies white women – according to her, their husbands marry for love and are committed to them.  Apparently the African man desires children and women can be asked to leave if they do not produce the correct number of male children or no children at all.  She explained that African men are very promiscuous, there are many women in their lives and the right rests with them to ask a wife to leave the home, if they are no longer satisfied with her.  It is strange, the male is totally superior in their culture.  She tells me that her daughter (aged 16) says she will only marry a white man as they know how to respect women.

Benson (being typical of his race) has found a new female companion from Marondera.  Last month it was financial crisis because he could not afford the payment to his father and his second wife to maintain his three abandoned children and this month, he has acquired a new female companion, no doubt with all the expenses associated with dating someone.  We suspect this is the woman he said was his wife many months ago.  His wife also has returned but I think she is out of luck, he has found someone new.  These last few days, there is a real ‘spring in his step’ – must be love.   Life is so simple, they live each day as it comes but then I suppose there is no point in them doing anything else as the system does not permit it.  Doris Lessing has written some interesting books on African culture and life.  Look out for some of her books as they apparently are interesting to read.  One is named “African Tragedy”.  It explains about the African outlook on life, the way men have many wives and children, the reasoning behind it.

I have just received a St. Patrick’s Day card from Maureen Caffrey.  Tell her there is no problem if she overlaps with Shane at Airports.  We are looking forward to having herself and Elinor very much.  She can go ahead with her plans.  Also mention I will write shortly.

Thank you for St. Patrick’s Day card which arrived with Maureen’s.  I spoke to the dentist.  Apparently, I would have to come off the paristelin for 6 weeks so the plan is when I come back from Ireland, I will go to see him then.  Thanks for checking out questions with Dr. Maguire.

How is Conor?  Is he a red head?  I noticed from the last photo that he is leaning more towards red than blond.  Maybe his trip to Portugal with Mella will bleach his hair blond.  It will be nice for Mella, Orla and Una to get a holiday in the sun.  Have you any plans yourself for another holiday?  Maybe we can go for a trip somewhere while I am home.  Let’s wait and see.

==========

Have received at lunch time your letter dated 11th March 1992 and I will now continue with my letter which I started yesterday.  Thanks for checking all out with Dr. Maguire, I am sure I am just being overly sensitive to mood swings.  For peace of mind I am making a greater effort to take the Paristelin at the same time each day.

You seem to have a path worn to Padraic Lynch’s.  His painting for the RHA Exhibition sounds beautiful.  I am looking forward to seeing some more of his work when I come home.  He is such a nice man and his paintings are excellent.  I sincerely hope he gets the recognition he so deserves soon.  It is such fun knowing the artist, it makes such a difference.  I have looked at some paintings here but all are in the shops in town and I have no interest in purchasing now that I have been the benefits of an introduction to a good artist.  Maybe I will find someone here eventually.

Harare is such a small community, for the Whites, being but a Village really.  It is surprising how frequently you bump into people you know, just per chance.  Does Marie G. accompany you on these trips to Ardee?  Tell her I would love her to visit.  She would be so welcome.  I miss my little chats with her.  In fact, I am now looking forward to getting home to see all your friends who were so kind.  Thank Bryde and Jack for the lovely St. Patrick’s Day card.  Cards for Paddy’s Day are a big success now, aren’t they?  I suppose so many people have family away from home that they use it as a handy means of staying in touch.

Joe had an unsuccessful game of golf yesterday – he was quite disappointed with his performance.  I am trying to encourage him to take lessons to “get his swing right” as I am sure (based on my humble knowledge) that it is not right.  I tell him that Nancy Long still takes lessons every so often and if that is the case he sure needs them given that he has just started.  He came home after the game to collect me and take me back for prize giving.  The Irish when away from home sure like to celebrate and boy you should have seen those Catholic priests sing, drink and wear civies.  You would never think of them as being priests – they have the beer bellies just like the rest of the ex-pats.  It is quite shocking really.  Our own boys are paragons of virtue by comparison to these boys over here.

Well, I will write again next week but thanks for all your letters.  Disappointed to hear that your girls did not going into mourning for the loss of their husband but the fact that they have stopped wetting the floor must be an advantage.  Give my love to all.

Lots of love

Michelle

Letter No 2

18 Cheshire Road, Mount Pleasant, Harare

5th April 1993

My dearest Mum,

Many thanks for all the letters particularly those enclosing Surmontil.  I have filled in the notification re. appointment and have sent it to An Roinn Leasa Shoisialaigh explaining that I am on a holiday and that I will be returning in May to visit my psychiatrist who plans at that time to reduce the medication.  I have stated if this causes a problem to cease payments accordingly.  I think the next three monthly certificate is due at the end of April.  Can we suspend same until I return as you will not be able to certify without my presence? I have signed the final cert and if the need arises just send it in on my behalf.  Can you write in the dates?

Great to hear about Aine and the public health nursing.  It will be so much easier for her working 9-5 than shifts.  Stella sounds as if she is going down Irene’s track with all the financial advisors.  Too much advise just bogs you down.  At times you just have to call a halt and rely on your own gut feeling.  You can vouch for that viz a viz Prudential.

I am glad you got back safe and sound from your visit to Clare.  You didn’t take the little man, I heard.  It was one of your whole day flits and it would have been too much for him.  I spoke to Shane the other day.  Apparently he has been trying to phone me for ages but our phone was out of order for 3 weeks so we were totally incommunicado.  It is now back so I phoned Shane.  He sounds in good form.  No sign of the house even being started.  Sounds like it will be at least after their holidays before they move in if not later altogether.  Shane tells me Conor is very big, fitting into the clothes of 1 year olds and more.  I am glad to hear Marcy looks so well.  I am sure having Giolla to help her is great.  She is a regular correspondent and fills me in on all the news.

What have I been up to?  The answer is not really a lot.  Last weekend we went to Gweru and onto Bulawayo with Liz (50 year old) and David (29).  They are ideal together and contrary to what I initially thought, Liz is a lovely person and great fun to be with.  She really is 50 going on 23.  In ways she would remind you of Irene with a great love of young people and a very young outlook on life.  She has a stud farm called Mary Down with some 100 horses.  Presently she is experiencing financial problems as the horse business is on somewhat of a downer here with many of its top people leaving Zimbabwe in favour of South Africa.  Two of the well known trainers from whom Liz gets a lot of business are moving out.  On the subject of race-horses, Joe is no longer in the syndicate.  The horse had chipped knees and Liz found a home for him as a polo horse thereby putting an end to the syndicate.  I must admit I am relieved.  Joe knows nothing about horses nor do I.

We visited the Matopos (David or Liz never having been there) and then we went to Chipengali, a reserve that houses wounded animals and species of animals who are in danger of becoming extinct.  Its patron is the Princess of Wales and much of its support comes from people who left this country at the time of the war and who were unable to take their funds out of the country so instead they donated them to this very worthwhile cause.  You can view all kinds of animals, they had an adorable baby black rhino amongst others.   I told you we no longer have the pick-up, however we have a stop-gap car which misbehaved on its journey to Bulawayo.  Joe luckily managed to juggle around a few wires and we made it back to Harare.  It was quite uncertain at times and this is no country for break-downs, as you well know.  What was even funnier is that Dave’s car gave up the ghost also and again Joe managed to get it going.  What fun it would have been if we phoned them in Sisks and said “both your cars have packed up down in Bulawayo (near 1000 km) – go collect them”.  Our car has had a full service so hopefully it will be okay for the 750 mile drive to Jo’burgh on Thursday morning.  I am looking forward to this trip.  It will be great to see Russell and get to see what South Africa is like.

How is Alice Murnane these days?  Give her our regards – we will be able to have chats when I get home.  On the subject of home, I have yet to book my ticket but will be doing so shortly.  I think it will be a journey via Zambia at this rate.

We went to an interesting dinner on Saturday night.  Whelan Associates are one of the biggest architectural practices in Harare and they support each year the National Theatre Organisation who are trying to promote African theatre.  Brian Whelan had given over his garden to a marquee, invited the 6 sponsors of whom Sisk were one, and we were entertained by this traditional African dance troupe.  They were excellent.  They danced for almost 1½ hours, so energetically.  It was worth seeing.  Thereafter a meal was served to each of the tables and later in the evening we were entertained by a modern dance group.  Liz and David were there, along with another couple from Sisks and we all enjoyed ourselves.

I missed Mother’s Day well and truly this year.  When we received the Irish Times almost a week later we realized our mistake.  Sorry but they must not celebrate it over here.  I am surprised as they celebrate all other major occasions and cards are big business here.  What do you plan for Easter?  Are Shane, Mella and Conor visiting you?  I hope you are not on your own.  I had a letter from Noel Clarke the other day.  All seems well for them.  He is still buying the Guardian and looking for work.  Things seems to be looking up for Tessie as her job is now becoming more administrative as the Nursery she worked at is now becoming a Family Centre.  How are Paddy and Marie?  Busy as ever, no doubt.  It would be great if Jerry came home and whats more for good.  His preference for Meath means he could be spending a lot of time with you, who knows he might even take up golf with his admired friend Mrs. Long.  Too long out in these missionary countries is not good for the priests, they need a return to reality as they approach retirement, in ways particularly before retirement age.

Winter approaches here, you can feel the chill in the mornings and evenings now.  The climate is so different down in Bulawayo, so much warmer and bright.  In fact it is a much nicer city than Harare, people are friendly and there is some life to it.  We visited the department store Haddon and Sly for breakfast and it was another trip to the Museum for me.  I am sure it is not going to be the last either.

I had a letter from Mary Crowley the other day.  Pat has found work but it means he has to take the car so she is on public transport.  The job is not a job related to his law degree but at least it will tide them over until the twins arrive.  They are aclimatizing to the idea now but it will not be easy.  Michael, her brother, gave up his medication again and is back in Blanchardstown so it is not easy for them at this present time.  The babies are due in July so it is not long now.  I had a letter from my friend, Jenny Parker.  At age 43 she is unexpectedly due another child in July.  She gave up work last year and moved to join Hugh in Aberdeen.  From her letter I think she regrets the move, Aberdeen being some different from Thames Ditton in South London.  There is a possibility of them visting later in the year also.

Tell Shane and Mella, I will write when I come back from Jo’burgh.  Give all my love.  Also – thank Margaret for her card and tell her I am so looking forward to seeing her on my return.  The excitement in the Hayes household must be phenomenal.  Can you imagine all the preparations that will be involved in such a large wedding?  Tell Mary I am thinking of her.

Well now its time to say goodbye until next week.

Lots of love

Michelle

Letter No 3

18 Cheshire Road, Mount Pleasant, Harare, Zimbabwe