Ronald Reagan was the first U.S. president who had been divorced. His first marriage, to actress Jane Wyman, ended because she chose to walk away. By all accounts, she wasn’t the easiest person to be married to — she filed for divorce from her second husband just a month after marrying him, and her third marriage didn’t last long either.
But Reagan’s second marriage, to Nancy, was a different story. They were together for 52 years, and their relationship was widely seen as a model of love and partnership. In 1971, when Reagan was Governor of California, his eldest son Michael was getting married. Reagan couldn’t be there in person, so he sent him a letter. What he wrote wasn’t just a note of congratulations — it was honest advice from a father who had lived, learned, and deeply valued his own marriage:
Dear Mike, You’ve probably heard all the jokes from people who are bitter or cynical about marriage. But here’s the truth: you’re about to start the most important relationship in your life. And it will become whatever you choose to make it. Some men try to act tough by living like the guys in locker room stories — thinking that what their wife doesn’t know won’t hurt her. But believe me, even without lipstick on your collar or shady excuses about where you were at 3 a.m., a wife always knows. And when that trust starts to break, the magic in the relationship starts to fade. More often than people realize, the ones who say marriage doesn’t work are the same ones who put the least into it. It’s like physics — you get out exactly what you put in. If you only give half, you’ll only get half back. Sure, there’ll be moments when you’re tempted — when you notice another woman or miss your old single life. But I’ll tell you something: real strength, real masculinity, is sticking with one woman your whole life. Anyone can cheat — that’s easy. But to stay interesting and loving to the same woman, through all the normal, messy, everyday stuff — that takes real character. If you love her, really love her, you’ll never embarrass her by flirting with others or making her question where you’ve been. And you’ll never put her in a position where another woman could give her a knowing smile — like she knows a secret your wife doesn’t. Even for one second. You, more than most, understand what it’s like to grow up in an unhappy home. Now, you have the chance to build something better.
There’s no greater feeling than coming home after a long day and knowing someone’s waiting just to hear the sound of your footsteps. With love, Dad P.S. Say “I love you” at least once a day. It really does help.
Those words came from more than just a father — they came from someone who knew what marriage meant and how important it is to nurture love and loyalty every day.
Reagan made sure Nancy never had to doubt she mattered. He made sure she always waited for him with love. As people say, you reap what you sow. And Nancy — graceful, strong, and loyal — chose him just as much as he chose her. She wasn’t just the First Lady of the United States. She was, first and always, the First Lady of his heart. And Ronald Reagan — the strong, determined leader known to the world — never forgot who he was at home: a husband, a father, and a man who truly loved his family. Like many good men in this world.
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