Mental Health snippets written 2003
The Stigmatisation factor to mental illness is particularly prevalent in the Armed Forces.
WHY? MUST BE ASKED
WHAT IS THE PURPOSE, FROM A MILITARY PERSPECTIVE, OF THE STIGMA?
THE COURAGE TO HEAL BY ELLEN BASS AND LAURA DAVIS
Anger is a natural response to abuse.
The tendency in society is to sympathise with the abuser rather than to confront the issue.
Women often tend not to release anger. Note the relationship between love and anger.
Remember the title I told Sean Collins I was going to use for my book and all those years ago he thought it a really good one!!!!!
‘The day I traded in my personality’ * I never succeeded in writing this book but in 2017 I was called for National Screening BreastCheck and was diagnosed with breast cancer. It was during the treatment I wrote a book with the title “Fortune Favours the Brave” which is the Blake-Forster family crest on a signet ring which can be used as a stamp; a gift from my mother when I was about 12 years old. The book is published: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1912639610/
Back to 2003 and a personal note of reminiscience
Also: Remember Aristotle: ‘He who angers you conquers you’
Joe Garry (my ex husband of 14 years) never did. Joe Donnelly my first boyfriend; one of my regrets is that I allowed other people yield greater influence and did a lot of harm to a person I loved at that time. My father died when I was 18. I was told by my cousin’s wife Anne that my father had accepted the relationship; but then he changed his mind as can so often happen when people become as deeply depressed as he was at the time of crisis in his life.
My selection of words in relation to mood disorder:
Disengage from Society
And Engage again. You become angry to the passivity of the prior state that facilitates control relationships and power issues.
Anger say where there is a frozen need that is not met in childhood can be carried through to adulthood e.g. a lack of parental love.
Children raised in isolation do not learn the social and emotional skills that are necessary to live healthy lives.
Intimacy concerns questions of trust.
‘There are no verdicts to childhood only consequences and the bright freight of memory’ Pat Conroy – The Prince of Tides
Forgive: However, take your time to protect yourself. Beware of pity.
Beware of inclination to protect or care for the perpetrator – care-taking role assumed by the child.
Carefully cultivate another personality type. Masks can be either positive or negative. Note: Your choice of personal mask tells a great deal about your self image and the way you perceive the world.
NOTE: IT IS ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE TO MOVE OUT OF SUICIDAL FEELINGS
BY YOURSELF – YOU NEED PERSPECTIVE.
THE EMOTIONS CONCERNED WITH
SUICIDE ARE TOO STRONG.
THE PERSPECTIVE NEEDS TO COME FROM OUTSIDE.
- Survivors need to be able to express the hopelessness that leads up to the intention to commit the act. This means that survivors need to meet each other.
- It is a good idea to make a contract with someone – Before I do anything I will talk to you……….
- Terry Kellogg – There are no secrets in families only denial.
- Child abuse can exist in an adult relationship. The survivor expressing this anger for the first time in his/her life can feel alive. There will be tears, trembling and laughter. It is difficult to unlearn misinformation we were taught as children.
- It is a tremendous breakthrough when the male survivor can begin to talk about his feelings. No one ever died from feelings but a life devoid of emotions is a form of living death. Note that after yawning, one always feels better. Embarrassed laughter, rapid talking, raging is all part of the healing process. Trembling is concerned with letting go of fear.
- Survivor: Do you know what I mean? This is a very significant question.
- Masks are about not liking oneself as one perceives oneself
KILROY: morning TV programme
WOMEN TALKING ABOUT THE EFFECTS OF THE SUICIDE BY THEIR MOTHER’S
Woman spoke about her Mum. Her Mum’s first attempt resulted in her losing her legs. As a child at that time, she FELT, numb and alone. Then when she was still 5, her mother ‘Left’. She still was extremely angry with her Mum. The question Why? was asked – the woman’s interpretation was that her mother was a depressive and an alcoholic, she had lost her baby. However, to most of the audience and the woman, these were not taken account of. The focus was the selfishness of her mother’s contrived act on her children particularly.
Another woman had had an abortion and committed suicide
Another woman spoke of the profound affect her Mother’s suicide had on her 12 and 9-year-old daughters.
Most women would not use the word suicide or killed herself. They talk about ‘going away’, ‘leaving’. The stigma attached to the word is too condemnatory was the opinion – it still made the act sound criminal, which is no longer the case. The Grandchild’s schoolwork has been badly affected.
What scared me was the level of Anger. The total non-understanding of one woman who tried to explain the depression and despair involved. It was non acceptable and harrowing, most had never told their husbands or in fact anyone. The show was the beginning of admitting this major trauma in their lives. They spoke of their pain. Problems that spill over into the daughter’s relationships with men are that they ‘over-love’ and try to do anything to please them. One woman who consistently blamed her mother had quite evidently reacted in such a way as to be intrusive on her children in effect smothering them.
There was woman whose mother spent considerable periods of time in bed depressed. At 68 the mother drowned herself. The daughter had visited that morning and was a little irked – now she is guilty.
Source: Book 2001 but revised in 2003
Messages about Masculinity by Mike Lew: Victims no Longer
Instead of opening ourselves to the virtually unlimited potential and flexibilities of which human beings are capable, we concentrate our energies on living up to an ideal.
Men have spent their lives trying to prove their masculinity.
These negative self-judgments are re-enforced every time we look outside ourselves for confirmation of our self worth. Boys learn to repress their emotions in order to avoid the stigma of appearing weak and feminine.
TRUE anger is powerful. It takes the form of righteous indignation in the face of abuse and other injustices. This anger is not engaged in as frequently as theatrical anger.
When this anger arises – it is recognisable and occurs only after a significant stage of recovery.
Lecture – St. Patrick’s Hospital, (Jonathan Swift “Give Vision to the Visionless”
December 2001: Suicide and Bereavement by Lecturer Mr Barry McHale.
A personal friend of the lecturer committed suicide.
Irish Association of Suicidologists – 1998
The equivalent of four 737 Boeings die each
year as a result of suicide
- Imagine the public outcry if one Boeing crashes.
- The 2000 IAS (Irish Association of Suicidology) Report refers to “THE SILENCE”
- In a given period there were 127 deaths by road accident and 126 by suicide. Considerable money is invested in trying to prevent road traffic accidents yet suicide prevention receives minimal attention.
- Men to women: Average 5 men to every woman but in Donegal the figure is as high as 8 men to every woman.
- The issue: Men do not talk at an emotional level either at home, to their family, to friends in the pub.
Those who talk about committing suicide will not – the fact is one third do.
(Barry’s friend was drinking with the group the night before – no indications existed).
APPROACH: BARRY ENCOURAGES OPENNESS.
IT MUST BE NOTED THAT AN IDEA TO COMMIT SUICIDE CANNOT
BE PUT INTO SOMEONE’S HEAD.
- Only the clinically depressed commit suicide. The fact is that not all those who commit suicide meet the Diagnostic Clinical Criteria.
- Hopelessness and Despair are major factors. Cognitive therapy proves positive in this situation.
- Four out of ten people who commit suicide engage in self-harm. They can’t be stopped.
- Personality disorders are more complicated. They tend to manipulate and eventually lose supports and friends and are left without anyone.
In 1993 – the Department of Health stated that 1% of deaths were by suicide. This has risen by 75% in the young men 15-24 age category.
All categories of mental illness carry a threat of suicide.
Presently, there is a TV programme titled ‘Young Boys don’t cry’ produced by RTE. People either hate it or love it in the Reviews.
Foster Report – North of Ireland: Findings –
- 69% had communicated suicidal ideas
- 72% had made contact in the previous four weeks with medical professionals
- 59% had met with their GP within the 3 month period
- 26% had contact with psychiatric services
The need is to find a solution factor. The goal of the person who intends to commit suicide is a cessation of consciousness – it is here that the problem exists. There is an unbearable pain, it is a mixture of fear and a sharp knife piercing through the very core of your being. It is defined by some as a psychic pain. (Personally I will never forget it – the numbness that followed for months).
The common stressor is ‘frustrated needs’
Commonalities of Suicide:
- CONSTRICTION IN MIND FOCUS
- AGGRESSION (intelligence but not emotional).
Think of the family man at table, they actually are at a stage that they do not even having the emotional vocabulary – this is due to emotional dysfunctionality.
North of Ireland School Programme:
There is a movement away from the unacceptable approach and more of an acknowledgement of the anguish and unendurable pain involved.
‘No one ever told me that grief felt so much like fear’ (1961)
The fear is that of the future. There is a vacuum. Within the family fear permeates and is not recognised.
One identifiable feature particularly significant for me is the tendency is to move in and out of groups, even locations. Alienation and solitude pull you from your very core to exclusion from society. The pull factor is so strong.
‘The elephant in the room syndrome – and everyone just avoids him’
50% are sorrowful while the other 50% are angry. All experienced guilt and shame. Guilt comes from within the person. Shame is about what the community or others think of you. The lecturer Barry gave an example where the father had bought a rope and the son used the rope. The father felt guilty for buying the rope. The mother felt shame and fear of God.
Barry McHale – his methodology to deal with issues is to seek ‘books on the subject matter’ (I cannot stress the importance of reading; searching for answers; curiousity). For him this assists his Faith and each book is like a rung on a ladder moving upwards towards an answer.
The professionals involved with the person concerned have human feelings – is a factor that is often not considered.
Kubler Ross 1969
The Stages of Grief
- Acceptance (inner peace)
- The sense of abandonment and the rage associated with it.
- Why could it not have been me?
- Depression is a reaction to a stressful situation. Men particularly need support.
- Features of Suicide – Wertheimer 1999
- Nature of the death
- Events leading up to it
- The search for understanding
- Suicide and the Law
- Suicide and Religion
- Facing suicide as a family
- Facing the world
- Support services
- Facing the feelings
- Surviving bereavement
Egan: (Police Training) aspect:
- One coroner has refused to hold court. He states too much pain is caused to the family.
- Fr. Tony Byrne has been up to Derry.
- We must acknowledge the lack of support services.
- WHY ASPECT?
- There is a search for understanding
- Road traffic accidents: Police although they may not concur state ‘Accident – Undetermined Death’. They have a good idea from skid marks and other factors.
COMPARTMENTALISATION FACTOR THAT APPLIES TO THE FAMILY MEMBERS:
Am I going crazy? I can identify so much with this? If I am little too happy I don’t know whether I am going high and heading for a low……
Changes certainly have occurred.
The services give more support to the family. The previous lack of communication aspect has improved. The children are involved in the necessary conversations. The process of family secrets drives a wedge in the family. There will be the child who normally will ‘chatter’ who will assume the caretaker role.
Facing up to the feelings is another important issue. At first there will be shock. This provides a cushion to enable the person(s) to cope. There is guilt, shame, anger, responsibility, relief, depression, confusion and pre-occupation, acceptance.
- FEELINGS JUST ARE: THAT IS THE REALITY
- REMEMBER THE PERSON MADE THE CHOICE.
Consider making a friend of your pain (I can confirm that this is all you can do when crawl out of the wreckage).
Ed Dunne – American Suicidology
- Know you can survive
- Struggle with why
- Suicidal thoughts are common
Recommends the Royal College of Psychiatrists Changing Minds video
Learning difficulties. The Minister for Education (McGuinness) has decided to scrap the 11+
Project presently in existence in the North of Ireland titled ‘Under Pressure’. It covers the age group 14 to 16. Project in Ardnagelvin.
The syllabus involves Drama, Creative Writing. Video diaries and daily diaries are compiled and monitored by staff of the University of Ulster. The programme is concerned with teaching coping skills, self esteem development and engagement in fun exercises. One common factor was the consensus that life is about risk and the fear associated with it.
DEAL WITH ISSUE:
NB: RECOGNISE AND REFER
The Police, Environment and Department of Health are the main government sources.
Education is key. People interact with people. The issue is that ‘Mood Matters’. Bibliotherapy is worth engaging with https://www.hse.ie › eng › services › list › mental-health-services › powero…
The Northern Ireland programme is well funded by the Government. The Women’s Aid Group and others also make contributions.
Aware is the Driver
The IAS have issued guidelines for dealing with cases to the media. There is a definite need to control information.
Teresa Millais in Youghal is the co-ordinator for all suicide bereavement groups.
FEAR – PARALYTIC especially
AGORAPHOBIA: This is a paralysing fear of leaving home.
As the tension rises, the anxiety mounts. This produces the nervous tension i.e. the negative coping strategy
Fear of Fear (in my case the fear of recurrence of depression) is very powerful. Anxiety is of an emotional response. If you conceal a fear you create more tension, this generates a being afraid situation which causes the adrenalin to flow. Tension may precipitate an ambiguous breakdown.
Note: Being afraid of fear can take control of one’s life.
PHOBIA: This is the defence against anxiety (Remember: Tenia (Clinical Psychologist, Trinity College Dublin) when I said I thought now I felt better that I should move on to dealing with my hair twiddling. Her advice was to not do so; it is part of my way of dealing with anxiety)
STRESS: Everyone suffers from stress but the body must be prepared.
ATTENDED MEETING AT ST PATRICK’S HOSPITAL: Notes compiled by Michelle Clarke. Have included certain points from my own experience.
Barry McGale from the Northern Ireland task force on Suicide gave the lecture in St. Patrick’s hospital.
Revised: 15th January 2003 and again September 2019
Trinity Horizon Project 1996/1997
Funding received from Horizon Fund in EU.
Participants: Trinity College Dublin, Centre for Women Studies. Dr Margret Fine-Davis; Dr Mary McCarthy
Aware: St. Patrick’s Hospital, Dublin 8, Professor McKeon
Department of Enterprise and Employment
Funded by the Horizon (Disabled) Programme of the European Union’s Human Resources Initiative
15 people engaged in this research project related to women with depression and their reintegration into society. I was one of the first 15.
An estimated 200,000 people in Ireland suffer from depression and women are particularly affected. Studies indicate that work affords protection against depression for women and it is with this in mind that the Trinity Horizon project was created. Horizon, which is a European Union concept, is aimed at assisting marginalised groups back into the workforce. The Trinity Horizon project is a training and research programme run by the Centre for Women’s Studies, Trinity College Dublin, in collaboration with Aware, St Patrick’s Hospital, Dublin 8. It is funded by the Horizon (Disabled) Programme of the European Union’s Human Resources Initiative* which is administered in Ireland by the Department of Enterprise and Employment. The support structures are provided by the National Rehabilitation Board. The Trinity Horizon project is a proto-type and is the first programme in Ireland aimed at dealing with people who suffer from depression and their re-integration into the workforce.
Fifteen participants were selected by interview. The project incorporated two three month training periods, the first term commenced in October 1996 and the second term commenced January 1997. The course organisers ensured our exposure to a carefully planned curriculum which was broad enough to tap resources perhaps previously not identified. Our curriculum included current affairs, creative writing, group therapy, 1 to 1 therapy every two weeks, computer training, personal development/assertiveness, drama, women and health, career planning and physical activity. The aim is re-integration to the workforce and perhaps the third a final stage of the programme which entails meeting each Friday will enable us to focus on what we have gained from the directional aspect of the previous two phases and assist us in finding a direction into employment.
An interesting dimension to the programme, for me particularly, was our attendance at the Transnational Day held at Trinity College, Dublin on February 20th 1997. Presentations were made by members of the Artemis network which comprises NOW, ADAPT, and Horizon. Representatives from the Netherlands, Italy and Greece made presentations about the programmes they have organised in their respective countries aimed at women and their return to work. The Trinity Horizon project has the added dimension of dealing with women who have suffered from depression. Hogeschool van Amsterdam selected groups from higher educated unemployed women so their courses related to a specific agenda and it was nice to note their success rate and findings. Some interesting results include:-
~ of the sample group, 81% of jobs were sourced from the non profit making sector
~education provides a major source of employment
~91% of the jobs were temporary, whereas only 3% were permanent
~72% of the sample groups got part-time work v. 28% full-time work
~methods of sourcing employment were the networking system and traineeship.
~Only 3% of jobs were sourced through the traditional advert/application system.
Based on the foregoing perhaps our Group’s focus in a search for employment should incorporate a change of thought pattern and the criteria of the permanent pensionable employment position should be put aside in favour of a more flexible package. Personally, I think there are many routes into employment and when people are recovering from ill-health, stress related occupation cannot be a consideration especially to start with. Part-time voluntary work is a means of establishing a networking base which ultimately may create the opportunity to gain full-time, properly remunerated employment. Moreover, one can gain skills/educational experience which in turn will help build one’s self-esteem further. Following on from the Trinity Horizon project through our registration with the National Rehabilitation Board, we are fortunately eligible to pursue FAS programmes which include a 20 hour week working in community employment and this may be an avenue we should explore further in our aim to return to the workforce.
Mervyn Taylor, Minister for Equality and Law Reform, at the Opening of the Trinity Horizon Project referred to the uncertainty as to the success of the programme but reiterated the importance of the research aspect and its aim in facilitating groups who are affected by debilitating psychological disabilities and their re-entry into the workforce. I hope that the findings of the Research team and their involvement with our group, derive the necessary information to ultimately create countrywide programmes which will be of benefit to women who suffer or have suffered from depression.
Michelle Clarke: Participant. We produced a sample of our work; some ple wrote poetry, others produced drawings. I wrote this piece.
Revised November 22nd 2019
2017 diagnosed with breast cancer so I wrote book taking the patient’s perspective when the multi morbidities apply. The journey from traumatic brain injury 1993 to the diagnosis of breast cancer in 2017.
Title: Fortune Favours the Brave
By Michelle Marcella Clarke https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1912639610/
Horizon 2020 continues to engage in research. https://www.edf-feph.org › edf-strategic-framework-2017-2021
IMPACT OF WAR – INTERESTING TO CONSIDER – March 2003
I transcribed this from television several months back. It is interesting in terms of the the psychological methodology used for those who returned from the World War II.
Feelings/anxieties of people reviewed:
Professor Bergmann worked in psychological services. His focus was a review of the inner soul ‘I am’. The display of emotion is sometimes good e.g. distress. Techniques applied – one being a study back into past by Freud. He sought reasons through primitive irrational forces as distinct from the effects of war. According to Bergmann’s account of World War II – an enormous role was played by the irrational. The dream is deemed to be the road to the subconscious.
After World War II, Freud’s theories were used. The objective was to defeat the subconscious. Freud’s daughter’s field of study was concerned with repressing the savage barbarianism identified in the ordinary American. 49% of all soldiers in combat suffered mental break-down. This meant the introduction of psychoanalysis. There is much more suffering shown than what appears. World War II the Victory was about Triumph and Democracy.
The susceptibility to collapse by a person concerned them. This meant that the irrationality was core. The American approach was to avoid ‘an easily led’ population. The irrationality needed to be changed. The inner structure needed to be dealt with and the aim was by psychological analysis.
The world psycholanalytic movement was headed by Anna Freud. Anna Freud was a rather forbidding person. Her whole life was dedicated to psychoanalysis. The focus was to get people to control their inner forces. Anna Freud was concerned with freeing the anxieties. They sought to control the inner drives. They aimed to convert to conform to societal roles. The objective was to make their ego strong (Homosexuality was about abnormal suppression). The problem was that there were too few mental health workers to deal with numbers of people concerned.
Marriages were breaking up. It was decided to use Anna Freud’s template. They relied on psychotherapy as a method of enlarging the aim to change people. Psychological centers were set up in towns. They focused on the inner forces. Counsellors were available for marriage guidance. The template was to enhance the ego strength to control forces. The techniques used were free association, free talk. The concern was to master passions. People uncrippled their own inner forces. People began to question the reality factor. They aim was to create model citizens.
Freud’s nephew Bernaise opted for a different route. His new focus was the consumer.
Dickter from the Institution for Motivational Research:-
- Why Behave
- Why Buy
- Why Respond
Introduction of retail therapy – the connection of products with emotional desires.
Dickter believed in Anna Freud’s findings but took it a stage further. This was the beginning of the self-gratification cult, givers were out of fashion. The aim was to improve self image, esteem and confidence by identification with the product. Dickter believed this would benefit society.
The New Elite:
Politicians, Social aspects, and Business.
The masses: They required the creation of conditions for good conformist behaviour as consumers. For the schemata utilized in the US, Anna Freud’s model family were the Berminghams. The children were reared at her home mostly, with a rigid routine imposed. These guinea pigs in later years went radically wrong, the brother becoming an alcoholic, the daughter leaving her husband and children to return to Anna Freud’s and committing suicide there.
Anna Freud became too anxious so the US Government turned to Edward Bernaise to gain control of the masses at the time of the Cold War. In 1921, Bernaise invented the profession of public relations and worked for the US government. He worked on the basis of managing manipulation and fear. He believed that consent could be manufactured. He held that the masses were not capable of being left to their own devices. The Russians worked also on the basis of ‘brain washing’. It was held by some that ‘psychiatrists’ should be in politics.
Experiments were sanctioned and utilized by certain Government Departments. They thought that in the case of troublesome, non compliant members of society, that they could be reduced to a primitive vegetative state where they would not remember anything and that they could be re-patterned. They used repetitive tapes with what they deemed suitable material aiming to alter their psychic states. It failed to work. The human being is extremely complex.
These psychologists and their theories attracted the Hollywood set. Anna Freud acted as a psychologist to Grenson who was suffering from despair. She was both a drinker and a drug-taker. Freud set up a model family and tried to show her what a family is supposed to be. It made no impact on Grenson’s destructive urges that dominated her life. The concept was to enhance her ego. The reality – it did not work – she committed suicide.
The question to be asked why was psychology so popular – for the people or the Institutions?
2003 Personal Reflection:
Always remember – ‘it* lurks like a thief in the night’. 17th possibly August I wrote in a diary: ‘Please let the awful decade be over’. This is possibly referring to Molly’s First Communion – it was 17th May, the day after Shane and Mella’s Wedding Anniversary. It was a relentlessly hellish decade that nobody understands nor can. I have just selected my subjects for my return to College. Reminder to me: Beware of being obsessive and stop thinking about what others think of you. Your concern is you.
Question raised: Do we want a culture of managerialism to be in control for our entire life?
Paddy Clarke: My retaliation to being lost from family, the kit gloves scenario, the deep hurt and pain within:
The reason I have friends is that “we” have in common ‘a shared brokenness’. This was how Paddy explained it. Yes, there is real Fear of me by family. You cannot change people who are in denial. You must accept that. It is the same as an alcoholic who is in denial about his drinking. My comment: this is why denial is in the Bible – it is about war/destruction.
Book that might be worth reading: The Art of Possibility by Zander.
Finding something joyful to do. Seek out the open spaces rather than expressing anger by ‘say hitting the wall’.
Need to clean out your mind, similar to what Merton says i.e. ‘Delete the incidentals’. Avoid negative clichés and cynicism. Key in an Orchestra is getting to the passionate side. Note the relationship between people and music.
Zander’s policy within a class: Every student starts out with an A grade. The reality is you can tell the truth because they want the truth – it is the truth that improves them.
Zander’s wife and co-writer is a family therapist. She is a very disciplined thinker. They have the combination – Music and Therapy.
The book is published by Harvard business school. Two kinds of Leader exist:
He recommends talking to a person in such a way that they can be the best within their capabilities – I believe totally in this.
Quote used: ‘Enthusiasm is ‘Full of God’. Deficits need to be acknowledged. My personal experience is this – once I gained entry by chance to the special room for people with disabilities room in Trinity College Dublin – the understanding existed.
Anxiety does not produce effective people. He considers the concept that certain children are gifted with genius or all are. The difference being that some have anxieties, leading to breakdowns and this is what affects their performance. The power within the child is what produces not the anxiety.
Serial relationship’s: Men who can’t commit:
Basically this kind of man is in love with himself. Narcissism applies and women form queues for his attention. He will not accept the reality that he may be wrong. The reality is about low self esteem. Bed/Sex props up his ego. Narcissists tend to be smooth and charming. Note he will have derived a lot of experience (prey on victims – tied into control issues – Michelle’s comment). The better choice is to opt for the candid. The major predictor is their past. The narcissist wants a trophy girlfriend. Hence they are always looking around (and don’t I know……it took illness to make me take off the rose tinted glasses). This can be a potentially dangerous liaison.
Courage to Heal book in Michael and David’s by Ellen Bass and Laura Davis
Anger is a natural response to abuse.
‘He who angers you conquer’s you’
Anger is about where there is a frozen need that is not met in childhood and is carried through to adulthood e.g. a lack of parental love. The fruit used to be kept in the dining room (curtains closed) in a silver dish – I was always wanting fruit yet afraid to ask. I don’t think it was that I was ever refused but I was just afraid to ask. Shane my brother who was 5 years younger exhibited no fear, so I asked him and he always received, no issue.
Children reared in isolation do not learn the social and emotional skills that are necessary to live healthy lives. My head-injury was responsible for the development of my social skills, my overwork, perfection capability was stripped with immediate effect away from me when I fell off the horse, fractured my skull, in November 1993.
Intimacy concerns questions of trust.
(Untalked about emotion – one of the deadly sins)
Source: Jealousy Theory Research and Clinical Strategies
by Greg White and Paul Mullen
We don’t place enough emphasis on this, once we reach adulthood.
It is a ‘narcissistic wound’. It involves a threat to self-esteem. La Rochafoucald sums it up as follows ‘There is more self than love in jealousy’. It originates from insecurity and inferiority. It is connected with a ‘fear of loss’.
The Jealous reaction is basically genetic ‘an inbred reaction of an atavistic nature’ that stems from the adreno-sympathetic systems. Fear and anger are also based here.
PRAY DON’T FIND FAULT WTH THE MAN WHO LIMPS
OR STUMBLES ALONG THE ROAD
UNLESS YOU HAVE WORN THE SHOES HE WEARS
OR STRUGGLED BENEATH HIS LOAD
THERE MAY BE TACKS IN HIS SHOES THAT HURT
THOUGH HIDDEN FROM VIEW
FOR THE BURDEN HE BEARS, PLACED UPON YOUR BACK, MIGHT CAUSE YOU TO STUMBLE TOO.
DON’T SNEER AT THE MAN WHO’S DOWN TODAY
UNLESS YOU HAVE FELT THE BLOW THAT CAUSED HIS FALL
OR FELT THE SHAME THAT ONLY THE FALLEN KNOW
YOU MAY BE STRONG, BUT STILL THE BLOWS THAT WERE HIS, IF DEALT TO YOU IN THE SELF SAME WAY AT THE SELF SAME TIME, MIGHT CAUSE YOU TO STAGGER TO.
A tiny booklet, published by the Pilgrimage Office
Title: ‘Hope in the face of suicide’.
2001 Guidelines for survival
“The linear mind can miss its gift”
BE ALERT FACTORS – MOOD CHANGE
AUGUST 2001 (LAST SEVERE INCIDENT)
- DON’T PRESUME TO ASSUME (Michael & David remind me)
- LEARN TO ACCEPT
- DON’T DWELL ON NEGATIVE OR OVERFOCUS
- POSITIVE FEEDBACK – REPETITION OF MESSAGE GETS TO SUBCONCIOUS EVENTUALLY
- STRUCTURE (MEAL TIMES OBSERVED)
- TEXT MICHAEL AND DAVID – ALERT
- KATHLEEN WILL BE DEALING WITH YOUR TAX AFFAIRS
- Haven: Glencairn Abbey, Glencairn, Tallow, Co. Waterford.
- Objective this year: Rest and Relaxation to regain some strength
- Set boundaries (‘What I want counts’) I cannot afford another depressive episode
- REST – REMEMBER BODY A GOOD INDICATOR OF WHAT IT WANTS